Some people believe the media should be allowed to publish private information about people, while others are against it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Media is playing
pivotal
role nowadays. Many other platforms other than Television and radio have given a lot of opportunities to Correct article usage
a pivotal
journlists
. Correct your spelling
journalists
Such
media is going too personal and publising
news everywhere for TRPs. Some Correct your spelling
publishing
publicising
people
supports
it Change the verb form
support
whereas
other opposes it. In the upcoming paragraph, I will discuss both views and will give my viewpoint at the end
.
First of all, press
interfering in the private lives of Correct article usage
the press
people
can actually bring various minor and serious issues to them. Having less or no privacy can seriously affect mental
health of an individual. Add an article
the mental
Thus
, he\she
might try to hide from getting into Correct your spelling
she
news
and Correct article usage
the news
hence
there are chances of getting anxiety and other mental problems. For example
, various artists can be seen fighting with depression, one of them is Selena Gomez, who dealt with depression because of having no privacy to
her life and Change preposition
in
people
Correct pronoun usage
who bodyshamed
bodyshamed
her.
Correct your spelling
body-shamed
body shamed
Secondly
, journalism can prove to be beneficial for numerous people
. Surprisingly, humankind around the world get
motivated when they see the story of famous Change the verb form
gets
people
, their hardwork
, Correct your spelling
hard work
their
way of living from Correct word choice
and their
cloths
to Correct your spelling
clothes
luxary
brands they own. Correct your spelling
luxury
Moreover
mass gets a lot
information Add the preposition
lot of
how
to be successful and achieve their goals. For Change preposition
on how
instace
, Mary Correct your spelling
instance
kom
often shares her routines, workouts and diets which inspire the aspirants of Change the capitalization
Kom
boxing
field to be the best versions of themselves.
Correct article usage
the boxing
To conclude
, I believe, journlism
can be both positive and negative. But there is Correct your spelling
journalism
need
to use it Correct article usage
a need
in
limit so that Change preposition
apply
it's
loopholes can be reduced to an extent and Correct your spelling
its
people
can benefit more from it.Submitted by preetsimran0123 on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effective, clearly outlining both perspectives and your own opinion. However, consider using a slightly more detailed introduction to set the stage for your arguments.
Logical Structure
Ensure logical structuring by connecting ideas with linking words to enhance fluidity. For example, use 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' to add points.
Task Achievement
Improve task response by directly addressing both viewpoints with balanced arguments. Make sure your points equally reflect both sides of the debate.
Clarity of Ideas
Clarify some ideas to make them more comprehensive. For instance, explain how journalism could maintain a balance between public interest and individual privacy.
Examples
Good use of specific examples such as Selena Gomez and Mary Kom to support your points, which effectively illustrate your arguments.
Complete Response
The essay provides a balanced viewpoint, reflecting your ability to discuss both sides of the issue before delivering your opinion.
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