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In many countries nowadays, people still live with their parents after marriage and also after having children. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?

#countries #people #parents #marriage #children #trend
The given topic is highly controversial.
However
, if a glance is taken at the pros and cons of
this
 aspect, it is irrefutable to say that there are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 advantages if people live in
tyhe
Correct your spelling
the
 joint families. So I perceive that it should be
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 development and I hereby give the following arguments to support myself. To
beign
Correct your spelling
begin
 with, there are multifarious benefits to
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 with their
parents
 after marriage because we can learn a lot of new things from our elders by spending quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
 together.
In other words
, today's era is a competitive era where most of the
time
 people spend
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their workplaces they do not have much knowledge about household chores that
time
Verb problem
apply
show examples
their
parents
 help them
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
Moreover
,
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 sedentary
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 in which they are unable to teach their children
morel
Correct your spelling
more
show examples
 values because of it their children indulge in unethical activities.
In addition
, history reveals that data from Harvard University pointed out that more than 70% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescents were involved in criminal activities owing to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
parents
Replace the word
parental
show examples
 attention. Resultantly, living in
joint
Add an article
a joint
show examples
 family is the best way to live
happy
Correct article usage
a happy
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
life.
Further
 adding here that everyone runs like a rat race to earn
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of money so that they can get standard of living including wealth, comfort and employment. As they work overtime to fulfill their needs under these circumstances they forget their family.
Hence
, that
time
 their
parents
 take care of their family.
Additionally
, with the help of
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
show examples
family
Add a comma
family,
show examples
 we can not face any sort of difficulty in our life because they tell us their experience and mistakes what they did in their life which helps us to learn about more from
mistakes
Correct pronoun usage
our mistakes
show examples
. To recapitulate, it can not be denied that every coin has two sides but the advantages of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 aspects are more than their drawbacks. It should be suggested that individuals should live with their family members after marriage with their spouse and children as they can get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to know more about
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.
Submitted by navdeepbajaj89 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your main arguments more clearly, with distinct paragraphs for each point to improve the logical structure.
task achievement
Avoid using informal phrases like 'rat race' in academic essays for a more formal tone.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay with clear statements of your opinion.
task achievement
You provide some real-world data and examples, adding credibility to your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial support
  • shared responsibilities
  • emotional support
  • childcare assistance
  • strong family bond
  • lack of privacy
  • limited independence
  • conflicting opinions
  • difficulty in adjusting
  • interference
  • personal life
What to do next:
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