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Band 5.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
Some people believe that education at
university
 is crucial and makes a person successful in the future.
While
 others argue that it is not necessary to go to
university
. In the following paragraphs,
this
 essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the latter. Nowadays, Universities have a very important role in providing knowledge and helping develop skills.
Besides
, some people still pay to emphasize the degree certificate because it can increase the opportunity of working
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more than people who do not have.
Moreover
, when entering a famous
university
 the chances of entering a reputable company are increasing, and
also
 collecting experience from working to lead to a higher position until becoming a successful person.
In addition
, some occupations still need to focus on education and degrees to use as confirmation that the person has studied through training till having knowledge in the field of occupation
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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determining
such
 as Doctor, Engineering, Architecture, and Lawyer
On the other hand
,
although
 you do not enter a
university
 you can become successful in life
due to
 technology that has progressed rapidly.
As a result
, we have access to a diverse range of knowledge without having to learn from the
university
.
Whereas
, some occupations
such
 as YouTube, female
shopkeeper
Fix the agreement mistake
shopkeepers
show examples
, and
influencer
Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
show examples
 can be successful. You do not necessarily have a degree, just have the courage to start. In conclusion, earning a degree has many benefits but I think the most important part of being successful is giving our best in what we do. Even if we don't study at
university
, we can be successful.
Submitted by theejuta.b on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Improve logical connections between ideas by using linking words such as 'however', 'on the other hand', or 'furthermore'.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Elaborate on the reasons why you think one route is better than the other in your opinion section, to provide a clearer comprehensive idea.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively covers both views on the topic, showing a complete response to the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, which creates a balanced structure for the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Demonstrates a good balance between discussion of both higher education and entering the workforce directly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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