IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#visitors #four #museums #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The data illustrates four international
museums
Change noun form
museums'
museum's
show examples
 number of guests
coming in
Verb problem
from
show examples
 1980 until 2015. In 1980, Shenzhen
Museum
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the fewest
visitors
 from others, less than 4
million
people
 came to visit the
museum
. Afterwards, the second lowest ranking is the London Science
Museum
 which had around 4
million
visitors
 that year.
Moreover
, The Vatican Museums had a little bit more about 5
million
 guests in 1980.
Furthermore
, The Louvre had more
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
, around 8
million
people
 had visited it.
Secondly
,
along with
 the development of the times, there was a slight difference in 2015 regarding the number of
museum
visitors
, which Vatican
Museum
 had
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 growth of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 by 9
million
people
was visited
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
, The Louvre
Museum
also
 had a
visitor
 count of 9
million
people
.
However
,
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Science
Museum
 had a slight decline in
visitor
 numbers to 2
million
people
.
In addition
, Shenzhen
Museum
 had the same number of
visitors
 as in the past
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
4
million
people
. In conclusion,
Vatican
Correct article usage
the Vatican
show examples
Museum
 and Louvre
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the most growth
visitors
 until 2015.
Nonetheless
,
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Science
Museum
 had the fewest
visitors
 in 2015.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, visitors, million, people, visitor with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor numbers
  • trend analysis
  • stability
  • popularity
  • significant changes
  • peak periods
  • low points
  • global tourism trends
  • economic downturns
  • natural disasters
  • tourist patterns
  • dynamic nature
  • factors influencing
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