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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below illustrate the market share of different smartphone brands in Russia and the amount imports that occurred in three consecutive years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below illustrate the market share of different smartphone brands in Russia and the amount imports that occurred in three consecutive years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given graph depicts the percentage of mobile
phones
Change the noun form
phone
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 brands sold in Russia
since
Change preposition
from
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 2019
till
Change preposition
to
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 2021 in different
Use synonyms
quarter
Fix the agreement mistake
quarters
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are significant increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 Chinese brands
such
Linking Words
 as Xiaomi, Oppo, and vivo and the fluctuation of Samsung and Apple. Looking at the details, the market share of Samsung started from 18% in 2019, rose to 22% in 2020, after
droppet
Correct your spelling
dropping
till
Change preposition
to
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 16% in the
last
Linking Words
quarter
Use synonyms
 of 2020 and increased to 20% in 2021. The Apple brand had the highest level in
fourth
Change the article
the fourth
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quarter
Use synonyms
 of 2020
wich
Correct your spelling
which
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 was equal to 21%. In other time periods
The
Correct article usage
apply
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Apple
Change noun form
Apple's
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 share changed from 11 to 17%. All Chinese products began from 8% of
marked
Correct your spelling
market
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 share each and showed
increase
Add an article
an increase
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 from 2
till
Change preposition
to
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 5%.
Xiaome
Correct your spelling
Xiaomi
 rose
on
Change preposition
by
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 5%, Oppo added 3%, and the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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lowerest
Correct your spelling
lowest
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 increase had vivo
with
Change preposition
at
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 2%. Other mobile phone brands fell from 40% in 2019
till
Change preposition
to
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 32% in 2021, showing the smallest percentage in the first
quarter
Use synonyms
 of 2021 with 26%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words quarter with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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