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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. » You should write at least 150 words.

The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. » You should write at least 150 words.
#figures #imprisonment #five #countries #report #university #lecturer #information
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The given bar chart demonstrates the statistics for crime in five countries: Great
Britain
,
Australia
, New
Zealand
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
, and
Canada
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 50 years.
Overall
, it is remarkable that there were fluctuations in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
 and
Canada
,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 the minority of statistics was in
Britain
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it experienced an upward trend. Starting from 1930, the highest amount of imprisonment was in
Canada
whereas
Britain
 was recorded at around 25, which was the lowest.
Moreover
, the
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
 and New
Zealand
 were equal. In 1940,
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 figure
turn
Change the verb form
turns
show examples
 to be
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
. Surprisingly, figures in
Britain
,
Australia
, and New
Zealand
 were
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 gradually during 30 years
periods
Fix the agreement mistake
period
show examples
. The amount of figures in
Canada
 accounted for around 115 in 1950. Turning to 1960, the record number of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
 and
Canada
 accounted for around 128 and 100, respectively. In 1970, the statistics in
Britain
,
Australia
, and New
Zealand
 were equal at approximately 65,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 there were only
Britain
 and New
Zealand
 that
climbing
Wrong verb form
climbed
show examples
 in 1980.
Although
 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
uphill
Add an article
an uphill
the uphill
show examples
 trend in
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 countries,
Australia
only
Add a missing verb
was only
show examples
 the one that had
downward
Add an article
a downward
show examples
 trend.
Submitted by esaraica on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words britain, australia, zealand, states, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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