IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #freedom #work #world #development #communication #technology #transportation
Advancements in
communication
technology
 and
transportation
 have given
people
 the ability to live and
work
 from any location around the globe.
While
 there are some drawbacks,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 social isolation and loneliness, I believe the main benefits,
for instance
, increased job opportunities and economic growth are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage for
people
 who now have the freedom to
work
 and live anywhere in the world
due to
 the development of
communication
technology
 and
transportation
 may be the high cost of living and housing.
For instance
, in cities like New York, London, or Tokyo, the demand for limited housing significantly outweighs supply, leading to inflated prices. Another perceived negative is a strain on infrastructure and resources when a city’s population grows faster than its ability to expand and upgrade essential services.
For example
, in areas like Mumbai, the influx of
people
 often leads to overcrowded public transport, frequent power outages, and insufficient water supply.
On the other hand
, a primary advantage of the advancements in
communication
technology
 and
transportation
 that have enabled individuals to live and
work
 from any part of the world with greater flexibility is that flexibility and
work
-life balance have become more achievable as remote
work
 and flexible schedules gain popularity.
For example
, many companies now allow employees to
work
 from home or set their own hours. A
further
 benefit is cultural exposure and diversity. When
people
 move to different countries or
work
 with international teams, they experience new cultures, languages, and perspectives. On balance, it is true that advancements in
communication
technology
 and
transportation
 have given
people
 the ability to live and
work
 from any location around the globe would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
, in my view, its positive effects in terms of increased job opportunities and economic growth override the disadvantages.
Submitted by www.prnmmdn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task achievement, provide more specific examples for each point discussed. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs. Linking phrases such as 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the contrary,' could be used more.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and succinct introduction and conclusion which frame the arguments well.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and well-organized, addressing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The use of examples like New York, London, and Tokyo effectively illustrate the drawbacks of living in major cities.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication technology
  • transportation
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • freedom
  • work and live
  • development
  • increased job opportunities
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • cultural exposure
  • diversity
  • economic growth
  • globalization
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • loss of community
  • sense of belonging
  • expensive cost of living
  • housing
  • strain on infrastructure
  • resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: