The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree ?
In recent
year
, there has been a growing debate over whether the traditional five-day working week should be shortened to allow for longer weekends. From my perspective, Fix the agreement mistake
years
although
there may be adverse economic consequences, this
proposal is both rational and prudent.
On the one hand, a shorter working week can lead to potential
negative impact on productivity. Add an article
a potential
the potential
This
reducion
in the number of working days per week would Correct your spelling
reduction
resuilt
in a decrease in the amount of Correct your spelling
result
working
an individual can handle. In most Replace the word
work
sector
, Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
this
would cut down on sales and profit. Some policymarkers
could face Correct your spelling
policy makers
with
significant consequences if Change preposition
apply
such
a radical measure were to implemented
. as companies might need to modify their investment strategies. Add a missing verb
be implemented
While
advances
economics might be able to bear Replace the word
advanced
such
a swap for more leisure time, developing nations could encounter challenges when a remarkable shortage of investment.
Nevertheless
, extending the weekend promotes a better work-life balances
, which Correct the article-noun agreement
balance
is play
an important role in Wrong verb form
plays
improve
mental health. Longer weekends provide employees with more Change the verb form
improving
oppoturnities
to engage in leisure activities, spend quality time with their family, and recharge mentally. Correct your spelling
opportunities
This
can reduce stress levels, prevent
depression and anxiety disorder. In countries like Japan, where the work culture has even Correct word choice
and prevent
lead
to death from overwork, it is evident that insufficient rest can exert dire consequences on human health. Wrong verb form
led
By contrast
, nations Correct pronoun usage
that priorities
priorities
work-life balance, Replace the word
prioritise
likes
Denmark, often report higher levels of physical and mental fitness by Wrong verb form
like
employee
.Fix the agreement mistake
employees
Submitted by n.thach.tu.a2 on
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task achievement
Overall, your essay responds well to the task by discussing both sides of the argument. To further strengthen your task response, consider providing a more balanced conclusion that summarizes both the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure, with clear introduction and body paragraphs. However, consider including a conclusive paragraph that succinctly wraps up the argument and reaffirms your position.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more transitional words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt effectively and considers both the positive and negative aspects of a shorter working week.
coherence and cohesion
You have introduced the topic clearly and provided a well-developed argument in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as work-life balance in Denmark and Japan, help illustrate your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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