IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Task 1, IELTS Academic The average consumption of fresh produce

#ielts #consumption
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given graph demonstrates the average utilization of seasonal productions from 1970 to after 2030.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is observed that despite the fluctuations, the consumption of fresh produce during recent decades had a considerable rise per person from the lowest of 100 grams in the year 1970 to the highest of amounts of around 500 grams from 2005 to 2015. The provided figure illustrates that the usage of fresh productions was almost consistent in the 70th decade
while
Linking Words
 there was a gradual increase from 100 to 300 gr/person in the subsequent ten-year. In the first half of the 90th decade, no changes occurred. It fell and rose rapidly during the next 5 years. It
then
Linking Words
 increased sharply after 2000 to reach its peak of about 500.
As well as
Linking Words
, it witnessed several ups and downs until 2015, and
then
Linking Words
 there was a moderate decrease as time went on. In summary,
although
Linking Words
 the changes showed that the usage of fresh produce had significant progress in the past half of a century, the tendency to use seasonal production was reducing.
Also
Linking Words
, the predictions on the graph claimed more reductions in the next years.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure to clarify the details represented in the graph, such as the specific years and trends, particularly beyond 2015.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow from one idea to another, ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to be more concise and precise in explanations to avoid any ambiguity in the overall message or conclusions drawn.
task achievement
Captured a broad overview of the changes in fresh produce consumption over time.
coherence cohesion
Demonstrated awareness of trends and patterns in the presented graph.
coherence cohesion
The essay contained a balanced structure with separate introduction, body, and summary sections.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: