IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of people taking part in a wildlife survey in Britain between 2001 and 2009. Summarize the information be selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the number of people taking part in a wildlife survey in Britain between 2001 and 2009. Summarize the information be selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#people #part #wildlife #survey #britain #information #features #comparisons
The table chart provides how many
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
people
 took part in a wildlife survey over a period of 9
years
. Both
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 adults and children, showed the lowest
number
 of
people
 who participated in the survey with 36.000 and 12.000 respectively.
Also
,the figure for
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 in 2001 started at 48.000,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it ended at 540.000 8
years
 later, which was more than 10 times as much as the first year. Focusing on the first 5
years
, the
number
 of
people
 over 18
years
 old experienced a consistent increase from 36.000 to 332.000.
On the other hand
, the next 5
years
 declined
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 the end of the period, from 332.000 to 27.000. The figures for children in general were very low, accounting for between 12.000 and 36.000 for 6
years
. But it reached the same
number
 of participants in the
last
 year, with 270.000. Looking at the total
number
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
participants, it can be seen that, in 2003, it showed the biggest increase of 200.000
people
 during the whole timeframe.
Submitted by dob.jeong on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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