IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of people taking part in a wildlife survey in Britain between 2001 and 2009. Summarize the information be selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the number of people taking part in a wildlife survey in Britain between 2001 and 2009. Summarize the information be selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table chart provides how many
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 took part in a wildlife survey over a period of 9
years
Use synonyms
. Both
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 adults and children, showed the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who participated in the survey with 36.000 and 12.000 respectively.
Also
Linking Words
,the figure for
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 in 2001 started at 48.000,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it ended at 540.000 8
years
Use synonyms
 later, which was more than 10 times as much as the first year. Focusing on the first 5
years
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 over 18
years
Use synonyms
 old experienced a consistent increase from 36.000 to 332.000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the next 5
years
Use synonyms
 declined
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 the end of the period, from 332.000 to 27.000. The figures for children in general were very low, accounting for between 12.000 and 36.000 for 6
years
Use synonyms
. But it reached the same
number
Use synonyms
 of participants in the
last
Linking Words
 year, with 270.000. Looking at the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
participants, it can be seen that, in 2003, it showed the biggest increase of 200.000
people
Use synonyms
 during the whole timeframe.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: