In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Although
there has been some significant agricultural advancement,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
some
people
around the world still starving
due to
higher population and demand
also
increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
food
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
as well
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
lower
food
supply to the poor
people
, these are the biggest problems for poor
people
to get their needed
food
. The most vital reason for not getting good enough
food
for indigent
people
is the low
food
production which brings the increase of
food
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
in the industry. If there is
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
food
supply to the industry it will lead them to charge more than usual. Even if we have the
bestest
Correct your spelling
best
modern
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
we can not
full fill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
show examples
the
Change the word
our
show examples
needs.
For example
, a shopkeeper wanted to buy a good amount of fresh
tomato
Fix the agreement mistake
tomatoes
show examples
but he failed because there wasn't very much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tomato
left to buy
due to
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
food
supply to the market
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
caused
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
price-up and the shopkeeper only brought about some kg of
tomato
, so many poor
people
came to his shop but few
people
could afford to buy
those
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that tomato
those tomatoes
show examples
tomato
. That's why those who
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
about to have some
food
to cook with
tomatos
Correct your spelling
tomatoes
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
failed to bring it and failed to eat for the whole day.
However
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
some possible solutions for these problems that will not conflict
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
starving
Replace the word
starvation
show examples
.
For instance
, Nuria started planting vegetable seeds and
harvest
Wrong verb form
harvesting
show examples
those regularly and achieved her required
food
every day.
Therefore
, if
people
started to plant vegetables
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own that
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
bring them real
food
to eat
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
how they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
also
provide them
food
by fishing or making
a fisheries
Correct the article-noun agreement
fisheries
a fishery
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own, they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
also
sell it to the market
as well as
consume
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
themselves. In conclusion, I think there will be always
starving
Replace the word
starvation
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
even if we achieve the greatest modern technology for
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
use. So, the government should encourage impoverished
people
to cultivate some
food
by
themsevles
Correct your spelling
themselves
and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should help them
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
providing money and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
also
the instruction that might lead them to no longer stay without
food
for so long.
Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a focused main idea, and transitions between paragraphs should be smoother to maintain cohesion.
Task Achievement
Aim to provide more detailed and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and fully address the task. This will enhance the depth and quality of your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the issues at hand, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed. This helps in structuring the response more effectively.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on your ideas and arguments to avoid repetition. Once a point is made, move on to new insights or different perspectives.
Coherence & Cohesion
You present a clear introduction that introduces the topic and sets the stage for your discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay closes with a conclusion that encapsulates the overall argument and proposes solutions, which strengthens the structure of your response.
Task Achievement
You've attempted to provide examples, illustrating some of your points, which adds to the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both the causes of hunger and the potential solutions, which demonstrates an understanding of the task requirements.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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