The graph shows data about the annual earning of 3 bakeries in London, 2000-2010

The graph shows data about the annual earning of 3 bakeries in London, 2000-2010
The line graph highlights information about
incomes
Correct article usage
the incomes
show examples
of three bakers in London from 2000 to 2010. The Lovely
Loaves
hit a peak in 2001. From 2004 to 2010 the income of
this
bakery
was declining. Over
this
period (2000-2010) trend
os
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
of
this
bakery
was declining. The Robbie’s
Bakery
remained flat from 2000 to 2005. Following that the line rose gradually and reached a peak
at the end
of the period. The Bernie's Buns hit a low in the first year. In 2003-2005 it remained steady after that the line rose until 2010. The Lovely
Loaves
had more than 80.000£ income from 2000 to 2004. In the
last
few
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
it decreased to 40.000 £. It has
poor
Add an article
a poor
show examples
showing in comparison with
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
other bakers.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Robbie’s
Bakery
had a bit less than 60.000£ at the beginning of the period
then
it rose to more than 60.000 £. It has more than Bernie's Buns
bakery
. To summarize, Bernie's Buns and Robbie’s
Bakery
get higher incomes than Lovely
Loaves
. But in the
beginning
Add a comma
beginning,
show examples
Lovely
Loaves
had the highest earning.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words loaves, bakery with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: