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Band 5.5

Education should be free foe everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

#education #foe
Today it is impossible to imagine a person without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
 or special knowledge. Every child is thinking about their future career. I partly agree with the idea that
education
 should be free for everyone. There are a number of strong arguments to support
this
 idea.
Firstly
,
education
 affects the development of the
state
. Politics, economics, medicine and a lot of other spheres of
state
 must improve and rise gradually every year. Being that the government always stands in need of certified specialists. The way the government can do it is to make
education
 free for everyone. Good expats could invent new strategies, make new devices or accept a progressive law that will bring the country to the level of a superpower. In
this
 case, investments of money and public resources will pay off one way or anotherю School graduates will choose their future way to get experts in
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
 right areas.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to
education
 makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society more tolerant
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 every class of society. Students communicate with each other, make useful contacts and enrich their minds. Free
education
 could allow a child from any class or family to realize their potential and achieve their goals. Equal access to
education
 decreases international inequality that influences society strongly.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 social inequality could get less every year.
Moreover
, every person gets a chance to make a successful career and become a great person. In conclusion, free
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
a
Add a missing verb
are a
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progressive solution for the development of the
state
. These arguments might conclude that free
education
 will increase all spheres of
state
 and promote prosperity.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, which would make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure all ideas are fully explained and expanded upon to enhance clarity.
grammar vocabulary
Check for minor errors or typos to maintain professionalism and clarity in your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively uses an introduction and conclusion to frame the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The ideas presented are mostly clear and logically structured, with well-organized arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents a thoughtful perspective by partially agreeing with the statement, demonstrating critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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