The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, the increase in using cellphones has become a vital topic of the most debate.

This

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shift has led to significant

benefits

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which will be discussed.

Although

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there are some drawbacks too, the

benefits

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outweigh the drawbacks. First of all, in today's advanced world,

due to

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advances in technology huge amounts of

people

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have become interested in using versatile devices

such

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as cellphones. It is noticeable that

this

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approach can result in harmful consequences, A prime example of

this

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is the dramatic increase in obesity rates, especially among the younger generation who spend countless time on their

phones

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For instance

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, they play online games through their

phones

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, which can contribute to health diseases

such

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as obesity.

Additionally

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, spending too much time on social media can be considered as another verse effect.

On the other hand

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, cell

phones

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can significantly offer various

benefits

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for

people

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. One of the most significant advantages is the conveniences that brings to

people

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in terms of keeping in touch with their friends and family members all around the world.

For example

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, consider a college student boy who moves abroad to achieve higher education, the ability of cell

phones

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in connection to the internet not only can help him socialize with their family members but

also

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can contribute to

overall

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a profound sense of convenience. One more thing is the ability to take photos through

phones

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which can help

people

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keep the memorable moment. In conclusion,

Although

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the advances in cell

phones

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offer both

benefits

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and drawbacks, the advantages

such

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as the conveniences

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show examples

keeping in touch with friends and families and taking valuable photos outweigh the disadvantages.

mahanzSat Nov 09 2024

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clear comprehensive ideas

Try to develop your ideas with more depth and provide more comprehensive examples and explanations. This will enhance the clarity and richness of your essay.

logical structure

Some transitions between ideas or sentences could be improved for better flow. Consider using more explicit connectors and transitions to guide the reader through your argument.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, providing a strong framework for your essay.

supported main points

Your essay is generally well-organized, with clear points that support the argument on both sides of the issue.

relevant specific examples

You've provided some relevant examples that support your main points effectively, which enriches your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Multifunctionality
Accessibility
Convenience
Remote work
Social media
Global marketplace
Data breach
Face-to-face communication
Privacy invasion
Emergency situations
Addiction
Navigation
Professional development
Economic opportunity
Communication

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The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

In some countries, parents are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of studying at home outweigh the disadvantages?

people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school. Do you agree or disagree? Support your opinion with reasons and examples

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion.

University education is expensive, and not everyone can have university degree. Some people think that university should be free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree?