IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The illustrations show how chocolate is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#minutes #illustrations #show #chocolate #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagram illustrates the production of chocolate.
Overall
, there are ten stages in total of the process, beginning with cultivating cocoa trees and finishing with the chocolate packed.
To begin
 with, cocoa trees are grown in South America, Africa, and Indonesia where they share a tropical climate. Once the pods turn into ripest red, they will be harvested to
took
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 out the white cocoa
beans
.
Next,
the
beans
 take a certain time until they are completely fermented. The fermented
beans
then
 being
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
 wide under the sun to dry before they are put evenly into large sacks. Following that, these sacks are transported by train or lorry to the factory where
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will be stored. The
beans
 will be placed over
fire
Add an article
the fire
a fire
show examples
 at approximately 350^C to become roasted.
Then
, the
beans
 are moved into a special machine where they will be crushed smoothly and the outer shells are
also
 automatically removed.
At the end
 of the process, the factory will use the inner part of a particular tool to
pressed
Wrong verb form
press
show examples
 the crushed pieces into liquid chocolate.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth flow between sentences. Consider using transition words to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Try to use more precise vocabulary. For instance, "taken out" instead of "took out".
task achievement
The process is described well, covering all stages of chocolate production.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning and end, effectively summarizing the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harvest
  • ferment
  • roast
  • grind
  • cocoa mass
  • conching
  • tempering
  • stabilize crystals
  • molding
  • solidify
What to do next:
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