Many elderly peopleare no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
There is no denying the fact that social networks can have an impact on society.
While
it is a commonly held belief that social media can have a negative impact on people
they use it and spread false information
. There is also
an argument that opposes it. My opinion, I consider that social network websites have two sides first one is positive and the other one is negative. To begin
with, social network websites are a big world where we can find the right information
and also
thier
is wrong Correct your spelling
there
information
. In other words
, we can find new information
about anything we interested
in Add a missing verb
are interested
it
there is not a big Correct pronoun usage
apply
sluotion
if we learn new things from Correct your spelling
loss
Internet
if is not impact our health. Add an article
the Internet
For example
, old people
take all WhatsApp messages in serious
way. Another point to considerChange the article
a serious
,
is it is very wrong to take all internet Remove the comma
apply
information
and believe it, if we believe it will spread all this
false information
on
society and it will Change preposition
in
makes
a big problem Change the verb form
make
first,
Add an article
the disease
disease
will increase because Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
they
independent on Add a verb
they are
they were
website
Add an article
the website
information
. It is also
possible to say that, people
are independent on social media they believe anything, for instance
, they take drugs if they see post
spiking about it. In conclusion, despite Replace the word
posts
people
having different views, I believe that there is a lot of information
on websites but we should ask our doctor first if we read information
about health and we need to do
not believe all Unnecessary verb
apply
information
.Correct article usage
the information
Submitted by mona11omar33 on
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coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, work on organizing your ideas logically. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and ensure each subsequent sentence develops that idea.
task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Consider refining your introduction to clearly outline what the essay will discuss and ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is essential for structuring your essay.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion