Many elderly peopleare no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

There is no denying the fact that social networks can have an impact on society.
While
it is a commonly held belief that social media can have a negative impact on
people
they use it and spread false
information
. There is
also
an argument that opposes it. My opinion, I consider that social network websites have two sides first one is positive and the other one is negative.
To begin
with, social network websites are a big world where we can find the right
information
and
also
thier
Correct your spelling
there
is wrong
information
.
In other words
, we can find new
information
about anything we
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
in
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
there is not a big
sluotion
Correct your spelling
loss
if we learn new things from
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
if is not impact our health.
For example
, old
people
take all WhatsApp messages in
serious
Change the article
a serious
show examples
way. Another point to consider
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is it is very wrong to take all internet
information
and believe it, if we believe it will spread all
this
false
information
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
society and it will
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
a big problem
first,
Add an article
the disease
show examples
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
will increase because
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
independent on
website
Add an article
the website
show examples
information
. It is
also
possible to say that,
people
are independent on social media they believe anything,
for instance
, they take drugs if they see
post
Replace the word
posts
show examples
spiking about it. In conclusion, despite
people
having different views, I believe that there is a lot of
information
on websites but we should ask our doctor first if we read
information
about health and we need to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not believe all
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
.
Submitted by mona11omar33 on

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coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, work on organizing your ideas logically. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and ensure each subsequent sentence develops that idea.
task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Consider refining your introduction to clearly outline what the essay will discuss and ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is essential for structuring your essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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