IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Healthcare should not be provided for free regardless of a person's income. The health of a person is in their own hands and they should, therefore, be held accountable for that. Do you agree with this opinion?

The notion
of
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that
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 free
healthcare
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 should be restricted and
people
Correct word choice
that people
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 are responsible for their own
healthcare
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, has sparked
cosiderable
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considerable
debateamong
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debate among
public
Correct article usage
the public
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. I disagree with
above
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the above
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 argument and In my opinion,
healthcare
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 should be free and every person should have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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access to it, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain my perspective. To commence with, It is true that having a
helthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
 diet with sufficient
nutritions
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nutrition
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 and
reguler
Correct your spelling
regular
exercises
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exercise
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 reduce
the
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apply
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health
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 risks.
For example
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, recent studies
shows
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show
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 that higher levels of physical
activities results
Fix the agreement mistake
activity result
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 in lower rates of chronicle diseases.
However
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, reasons like poverty, lack of education and unable to receive a healthy diet, hinder their ability to make healthy choices.
Thus
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,
it is clear that
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 though some people can afford
healthy
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a healthy
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 diet, many others can not, which will result in
health
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 issues.
On the other hand
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,
health
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 risks can emerge
due to
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 genetic issues and environmental factors.
For example
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, diabetes and heart diseases are considered
as
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apply
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genetic issues;
moreover
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, viral fever and
corona virus
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coronavirus
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 can be identified as diseases,
which
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apply
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caused
due to
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 environmental factors.
Further
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, if individuals are unable to access the required medicine, it may lead to critical pandemics, which will eventually
leads
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lead
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 to economic crisis. The most recent example is corona
pandamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
, which
effect
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affect
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 the whole world. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement
of
Change preposition
apply
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that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
 should be provided free of charge because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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individuals have their own responsibility
on
Change preposition
for
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 their own
health
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. It is my view that
healthcare
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 should be provided free of charge because there are many external factors that
effects
Verb problem
affect
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on
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apply
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one's
health
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 and mainly, it is a basic human right to live a healthy life, and as
humans
Add a comma
humans,
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 we should respect that basics.

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task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors. Consider improving the introduction by clearly stating your disagreement with the given statement to enhance the clarity of your position from the beginning.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more specific examples or statistical data to make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent tone throughout the essay, and use varied transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay provides both perspectives on the issue of free healthcare, acknowledging the different factors that affect health which adds depth to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction, main body, and conclusion which shows a logical structure.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces your argument. Additionally, your emphasis on healthcare as a basic human right is compelling.
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