IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree

#people #idea #schools #person #parent
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As the world is evolving, it can be seen
around
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apply
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that almost everything can be learnt through tutoring or classes.
Hence
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, there are some people who think that there should be some study
over
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on
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 parenthood so that
pupil
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pupils
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 who ponder
of
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apply
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becoming
parents
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, may have some knowledge
how
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of how
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 to
do parenting
Wrong verb form
parent
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 at their best. I will discuss why I agree with
this
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 statement.
Further
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, in the following paragraphs, I will consider how learning beforehand about parenting can
truely
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truly
 benefit not only children but society
in
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as
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 a whole.
Firstly
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, When mass
learn
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learns
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 different aspects of how to help themselves and their children so that they can have
good
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a good
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 upbringing with some diligent skills and abilities for
future
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the future
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.
For instance
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, if guardians can learn from education
to
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apply
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how to make their young
ones
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 patient and hardworking
then
Linking Words
 there is nothing more to be
aksed
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asked
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 about.
Hence
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,
the
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apply
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teaching at school can help
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ones
Correct pronoun usage
those
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 who want to give their young
ones
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best
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the best
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 upbringing.
Secondly
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, It can
also
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 help to raise young
ones
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 into responsible humans. Since
,
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apply
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 nowadays various people are getting into criminal practices and wrong paths. proper guidance from
parents
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 can keep them away from these.
For example
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,
parents
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 can actually learn how to
be keep
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keep
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 their children away from
smart phones
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smartphones
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 and connected to nature.
Moreover
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,
this
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 change can have a great impact on the society in the upcoming years.
To conclude
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, I believe getting the education and tutoring on how to make their parenthood effective is a win-win situation.
While
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 offspring can get
a
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apply
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better parenting and society can get
the
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apply
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accountable residents.
Thus
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, school education or
parents
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 can prove to be good for them to be amazing
parents
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.
Submitted by preetsimran0123 on

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task achievement
Consider including more specific examples or scenarios to illustrate your points more vividly. This can help in strengthening your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next one to improve the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the benefits of teaching parenting in schools and relates it back to societal benefits.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly outline the main idea and nicely wrap up the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Good organization within paragraphs that build on your argument about the importance of parenting education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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