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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The pie charts compare the
propotions
Correct your spelling
proportions
proportion
, in terms of pros and cons, which visitors experience in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Bowen Island.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 cost of living is considered as the most common disadvantage,
while
Linking Words
 the
additudes
Correct your spelling
attitudes
attitude
 of the natives
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 mentioned as the most common
advantage
Use synonyms
. To
bigin
Correct your spelling
begin
 with, half of the outsiders have
raiesd
Correct your spelling
raided
 up about the high cost of living,
whereas
Linking Words
one-quater
Correct your spelling
one-quarter
 of them voted
as
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apply
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entertainment as the second major drawback.
In addition
Linking Words
,one-tenth of people have mentioned
quality
Add an article
the quality
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 of
quisine
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cuisine
 as a disadvantage,
while
Linking Words
 almost 11% of visitors
opend
Correct your spelling
opened
 up about
high
Add an article
the high
show examples
 quality of accommodation as an
advantage
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,just below half
them
Change preposition
of them
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refered
Correct your spelling
referred
the
Change preposition
to the
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 hospitality service as the main
pluspoint
Correct your spelling
plus point
plus-point
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, 35% of them voted breathtaking views as an
advantage
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
wheather
Correct your spelling
weather
whether
 and the cultural aspects are mentioned as
drawback
Add an article
a drawback
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 and an
advantage
Use synonyms
 respectively at just
closed
Replace the word
close
show examples
 to 10%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words advantage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scenic beauty
  • peaceful environment
  • wildlife viewing
  • limited accessibility
  • high costs
  • lack of amenities
  • tourist experience
  • perceived strongly
  • overwhelmingly stands out
  • main features
  • key advantages
  • primary disadvantages
  • notable aspects
  • common perceptions
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