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Band 5.5

Sociologists opine that social networking websites can have a negative impact on society as they can be used to spread false information. Do you agree or disagree?

#sociologists #opine #websites #impact #society #spread #information
Recently it is very easy for
people
 to access
information
 online, Sociologists say that social networking websites can have a negative effect on society because they can lead
people
 to false
information
.
Although
 I support that
people
 need to be more cautious using their social
media
 platforms,
such
 as Facebook, I do not think that social networking websites are one hundred per cent bad. There are many social
media
 platforms recently, and some
people
 are aware that using social
media
 needs to be more careful because it can lead to false
information
 or even worse, fraud.
For example
, in 2014, an Indian woman who lived in England got fraud from her connections through Facebook and it lasted for 10 years until she knew who the person behind the fraud was.
In addition
,
this
 story has been a documentary film by Netflix to increase awareness of the impact of using social
media
, especially for women.
However
, there are
also
 many advantages that
people
 can gain from social
media
such
 as job
vacancies
Change the noun form
vacancy
show examples
information
.
People
 can get news about which company or when those companies open for recruitment.
For example
, there was a group on Facebook containing 115,678
people
 who gathered to exchange
information
 regarding job vacancies and the tests to become stewardesses.
In addition
, the article from BBC News reported that
information
 from informal resources has been helpful to the aviation crew.
To conclude
,
although
 the use of social networking websites might lead to false
information
, I do believe that with more awareness and caution,
people
also
 can get an advantage from it.
Submitted by adedode on

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content
Your essay covers both sides of the argument about social networking sites effectively. However, to enhance the depth of your argument, consider adding more detailed explanations of how false information is spread, and how people can verify information online.
content
The essay provides examples which are relevant and help in supporting the points. To strengthen your task achievement, you could include additional examples from reputable sources or statistics that emphasize the prevalence of misinformation.
structure
Ensure each paragraph has clear, logical structure. Some transitions between ideas could be more fluid. Try to use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect your ideas seamlessly.
content
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, laying a solid foundation for your arguments.
content
The conclusion effectively summarizes your points and restates your opinion, which ties the essay together nicely.
content
The example about the Indian woman and the Facebook group adds relevance and interest, making your argument more compelling.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Misinformation
  • Proliferation
  • Skew public opinion
  • Fact-checking
  • Authenticity
  • Misleading information
  • Regulation
  • Accountability
  • Media literacy
  • User discernment
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