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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second years of use.

The bar chart shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second years of use.
#bar #visits #community #website #first #second #years
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The provided bar chart gives information about how many
visitors
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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used a community website in the
first
Use synonyms
 and
second
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obviously seen that during the
second
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 all of the months,
expect
Correct your spelling
except
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 August the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
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 the highest indicator than the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
. Getting back to the details the highest indicator of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
second
Change the article
the second
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year
Use synonyms
 accounted
in
Change preposition
for
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 May, June and July. The number of
visitors
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
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 approximately between 20000 and 23500,
by contrast
Linking Words
 in September and October the
indicators
Use synonyms
 were the lowest and made up only 8000
visitors
Use synonyms
 collectively.
The
Change preposition
In the
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 remained months the
indicators
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
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average
Replace the word
averaged
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 between 10000 and 16000
visitors
Use synonyms
. The
Use synonyms
first
Add a hyphen
first-year
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year
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 were much smaller
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 with
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second
Add a hyphen
second-year
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year
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
. The highest
indicators
Use synonyms
 were less even the average
indicators
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
year
Use synonyms
. The lowest
indicators
Use synonyms
 who visited
in
Change preposition
apply
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websites in
Use synonyms
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 were in February and March, constituted only 1000 and 1100 respectively.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, first, second, year, indicators with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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