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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the share of global manufacturing and exports for four countries between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant. Show ideas and vocabulary

The charts show the share of global manufacturing and exports for four countries between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant. Show ideas and vocabulary
#show #exports #four #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons #vocabulary
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The charts illustrate the world sharing projected production and exports of four nations from 1985 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
world
Change noun form
world's
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 projected production has 6 sectors (
services
Use synonyms
, manufacturing,
materials
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, energy,
agriculture
Use synonyms
, and info-com tech. The largest
proportion
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 is
services
Use synonyms
 in both 2040 and 2060.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the smallest
proportion
Use synonyms
 is
materials
Use synonyms
 in 2040.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 has the smallest ratio in 2060.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the one hand, in 2040, the biggest ratio is
services
Use synonyms
, which make up
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 40%. The second largest ratio is manufacturing, which remains at about 31%. Info-Com Tech comprised at 15%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
materials
Use synonyms
,
agriculture
Use synonyms
, and energy stay at 3%, 4%, and 7% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2060, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
sevices
Correct your spelling
services
 and manufacturing increase minimally.
Services
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 increase roughly 1% and manufacturing rises approximately 2% from the previous 20 years.
Similarly
Linking Words
, info-com-tech
step
Wrong verb form
stepped
show examples
 up
about
Change preposition
by about
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 1% and
materials
Use synonyms
 expand
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
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 1%.
However
Linking Words
, the
quanity
Correct your spelling
quantity
quality
 of
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and energy dropped to around 3% and 1%.
Submitted by Tiger23 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words services, materials, agriculture, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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