IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #team #sports #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
Use synonyms
 in the
way
Use synonyms
 of growing up,cooperating
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 somebody is important.In the school,there are many activities
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
 to cooperate to solve the problems,and
sports
Use synonyms
 usually need to make a
team
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
against another group.
However
Linking Words
,I do not think
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 is the one
way
Use synonyms
teach
Fix the infinitive
to teach
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 to cooperate skills.There are many methods to do these for different kids.
Team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 can help
children
Use synonyms
 develop their social skills.
Children
Use synonyms
 need to
Use synonyms
communication
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other members to
ganretee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 they
are understood
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
 the solution.
For example
Linking Words
,
basketball
Correct article usage
a basketball
show examples
game
Use synonyms
 should make three or five
people
Use synonyms
 to be a
team
Use synonyms
,and they need to discuss some plans to win the
game
Use synonyms
.If
children
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worse
communication
Use synonyms
 during the
game
Use synonyms
,they will lose the
game
Use synonyms
 and blame
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
members
Change to a singular noun
member
show examples
.Meanwhile,
children
Use synonyms
 have to
do
Verb problem
communicate
show examples
 a lot of certain
communication
Use synonyms
 to other
people
Use synonyms
 to achieve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 improve
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 social skills.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 can boost
children
Use synonyms
 to cooperate
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
,some
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
 kids are not good at outside activities
can
Verb problem
and are
show examples
 not sure
reasons
Change preposition
of reasons
show examples
to think
Verb problem
why
show examples
 they do not do that.
However
Linking Words
,some activities in the room
also
Linking Words
 can help
introvert
Wrong verb form
introverted
show examples
 kids to cooperate to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems.
For instance
Linking Words
,design race usually should make
group
Add an article
a group
the group
show examples
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
achieve,they need to try many ways,share their
oppotinuties
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 and replace a lot of
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
 they think it is wrong.
Espcially
Correct your spelling
Especially
,
communication
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other members
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 important in
this
Linking Words
contant
Correct your spelling
content
context
,
esure
Correct your spelling
ensure
sure
 everybody
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 your thinking. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 I agree that
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 is a good
way
Use synonyms
 to teach
children
Use synonyms
cooperate
Add the particle
to cooperate
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,it is not
every
Correct quantifier usage
all
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 are good at
sports
Use synonyms
,they should find the true
way
Use synonyms
 to cooperate
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.I believe that it is the same
way
Use synonyms
 to develop their skill.
Submitted by a0953957266 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language & grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. This will help ensure your ideas are communicated more effectively.
task response
While the essay addresses the task, make sure each paragraph clearly connects back to the main topic to strengthen your argument.
thesis statement adjustment
Develop a stronger thesis statement at the beginning of the essay to clearly state your position.
balanced argument
The essay presents two different perspectives, providing a balanced view.
use of examples
Relevant examples are used to illustrate main points, such as the example of basketball and design races.
structure
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: