The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given table illustrates the proportion of employees in six industries, which are

Manufcturing

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Manufacturing

, Retail, Healthcare, Construction, Education and Tourism in 1989 and 2009. It is clear that in manufacturing and

retail

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retail,

show examples

the

number

Use synonyms

of people employed decreased over the period,

whereas

Linking Words

in all other given

industries

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industries,

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the

number

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of workers increased. The highest

percentage

Use synonyms

of workers (15%) worked in

manufacturing

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the manufacturing

show examples

industry in 1989.

This

Linking Words

proportion decreased by a third and reached a little below 10% in 2009. In retail, the

percentage

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workforce

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the workforce

show examples

fell from 11.8 in 1989 to 10.1 in 2009. In healthcare, the

percentage

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of employees increased from 9.6 to 11.3. In construction, education and tourism the

percentage

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of workers increased from 7.6, 6.8 and 5.5 to 8.3, 7.5 and 7.3 respectively.

Overall

Linking Words

manufacturing

Correct article usage

the manufacturing

show examples

industry employed the maximum

number

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of people in 1989,

while

Linking Words

healthcare employed the highest

number

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in 2009. In both these years, the least

number

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of people worked in the tourism industry.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, percentage with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

158 words

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The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Obesity is becoming a major problem in many parts of the world, especially in rich countries. What are the reasons and solutions?

According to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourists in the 1960s and 70s they return home with no experience of local culture. Why do you think this happens? How was tourism different in the past?

Many people choose to work or live abroad because of the higher standards of living they can find outside their home country. Do you think this brings more advantages or disadvantages to the people who follow this path?

Some businesses find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work With colleagues as a team. What are the causes and suggest possible solutions

Some employers put more emphasis on practical skills than theoretical knowledge. Others insist that candidates have an academic background or formal qualifications. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.