IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given table illustrates the proportion of employees in six industries, which are
Manufcturing
Correct your spelling
Manufacturing
, Retail, Healthcare, Construction, Education and Tourism in 1989 and 2009. It is clear that in manufacturing and
retail
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retail,
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 the
number
Use synonyms
 of people employed decreased over the period,
whereas
Linking Words
 in all other given
industries
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industries,
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 the
number
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 of workers increased. The highest
percentage
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 of workers (15%) worked in
manufacturing
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the manufacturing
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 industry in 1989.
This
Linking Words
 proportion decreased by a third and reached a little below 10% in 2009. In retail, the
percentage
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 of
workforce
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the workforce
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 fell from 11.8 in 1989 to 10.1 in 2009. In healthcare, the
percentage
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 of employees increased from 9.6 to 11.3. In construction, education and tourism the
percentage
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 of workers increased from 7.6, 6.8 and 5.5 to 8.3, 7.5 and 7.3 respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
,
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
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 industry employed the maximum
number
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 of people in 1989,
while
Linking Words
 healthcare employed the highest
number
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 in 2009. In both these years, the least
number
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 of people worked in the tourism industry.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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