In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many countries, the pervasiveness of criminal activities is believed to be the result of violent
scenes
Use synonyms
displayed on technological amenities. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
notion, as
people
Use synonyms
often follow the
content
Use synonyms
they watch, leading them to apply it in real-life situations. Primarily, abusive contents lead to consumers' opinions that committing a crime is commonplace. Many
people
Use synonyms
spend most of their time watching television or playing video games, consuming hours of
content
Use synonyms
. If
this
Linking Words
activity is filled with abusive
scenes
Use synonyms
, it will make them believe that
such
Linking Words
activities are acceptable.
For example
Linking Words
, someone who continuously watches rape
scenes
Use synonyms
on screen will be more likely to commit the same activity later, as they consider
such
Linking Words
activity normal.
Thus
Linking Words
, consuming crime portrayals repeatedly affects
people
Use synonyms
's criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, violent portrayals motivate observers to commit crimes merely as fanatic fans. Some
people
Use synonyms
often idolize characters that have abusive personalities, making them follow whatever
such
Linking Words
actors portray.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person robs a store solely because they see their idol commit
such
Linking Words
things in films or games.
Therefore
Linking Words
, crimes can be the result of mimicking idol roles.
However
Linking Words
, critics argue that images created on screens are merely a form of entertainment.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
statement is valid, the fact that abusive
content
Use synonyms
has significant impacts on
people
Use synonyms
's criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
is undeniable. Entertainment can still be delivered in more appropriate and fun ways,
such
Linking Words
as comedy or romance, fostering good camaraderie. In conclusion, despite arguments that violent
content
Use synonyms
is solely a form of entertainment, I firmly believe that
such
Linking Words
scenes
Use synonyms
depict actions that can motivate
people
Use synonyms
to commit crimes.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are clearly differentiated to avoid potential overlap. While the arguments are strong, more clarity and distinction between the points can enhance understanding.
task achievement
Provide additional counterarguments where possible, as this will show a balanced view and deepen your analysis. While you addressed a common counterargument, further exploration can enhance your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured effectively with clear introductory and concluding paragraphs, which aids readers in following the argument.
task achievement
The essay provides specific examples to support the main arguments, which strengthens your points.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of transitional phrases and clear paragraphing maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: