IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows of expeditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

The bar chart below shows of expeditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.
#bar #expeditures #five #categories #states #canada #kingdom #japan #year
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The bar
chart
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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critical information
a bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
 5
categorise
Correct your spelling
categories
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 which are food ,
hosing
Correct your spelling
housing
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, transport, healthcare and clothing in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom, Canada,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States ,
Japan
Correct word choice
and Japan
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. In
Correct article usage
the deatials
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deatials
Correct your spelling
details
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
chart
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 the in United States in
categoriy
Correct your spelling
category
 housing is the highest,
on the other hand
 is the opposite in the United Kingdom is the
deep
Correct word choice
apply
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lowest in health care about 3%.
In addition
 in
category
Add an article
the category
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 of food in all countries has
raised
Verb problem
risen
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 even the housing category is
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 in all
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 but the healthcare and clothing it is show
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
.
About transportation
Change preposition
Transportation
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 is the middle in the bar
chart
 in Canada
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the peak
about
Change preposition
at about
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 20% but in the Japan decline
in
Change preposition
by
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 half about 10%
on the other hand
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States it is
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 17%. In
counclude
Correct your spelling
conclude
 the house of all categories is the highest in countries
also
 the bar
chart
show
Change the verb form
shows
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 the
importance
Replace the word
important
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 categories in the four countries.
Submitted by rihas89s on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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