Some people believe that government funding should be used to support the arts, while others think it is better spent on public services.

The debate on whether government funding should be allocated to

arts

Use synonyms

or public

services

Use synonyms

is a longstanding issue.

While

Linking Words

some argue that it'd be better to prioritize

arts

Use synonyms

than

Change preposition

over

show examples

public

services

Use synonyms

, others advocate for investing in public service rather than investing in

Use synonyms

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

. From my perspective, I reckon that

both

Use synonyms

of these aspects play an indispensable role in social development;

however

Linking Words

, public

services

Use synonyms

should be prioritized

due to

Linking Words

the comprehensive

life

Use synonyms

standard of inhabitants.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, funding the

arts

Use synonyms

is vital for cultural preservation and societal enrichment. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

art is a means to preserve and promote national cultural values. It is not only about

aesthetic

Fix the agreement mistake

aesthetics

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

a testament to the historical heritage of a nation, which can preserve historical events and artistic knowledge for future generations.

Besides

Linking Words

, artistic activities

relate

Change the form of the verb

show examples

to music,

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

show examples

, and exhibitions enrich spiritual

life

Use synonyms

, providing comfort and fostering creativity. investing in the

arts

Use synonyms

not only helps maintain cultural identity but

also

Linking Words

provides spiritual motivation for the community.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, public service directly affects the social welfare and quality of

life

Use synonyms

for the general population. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it plays an essential role in improving society and enhancing the

life

Use synonyms

standard for citizens. One of the worth investing

public

Change preposition

in public

show examples

services

Use synonyms

healthcare

Add an article

the healthcare

show examples

system, which helps protect community health and reduce diseases.

In addition

Linking Words

, education and public safety play indispensable roles in helping build a safe, civilized, and

well educated

Add a hyphen

well-educated

show examples

society.

For example

Linking Words

, a developed country like Singapore always pays

Remove the article

apply

show examples

significant attention to their education system, which can ensure that

their

Change the word

the

show examples

future workforce will devote their best to their nation. Investing in public

services

Use synonyms

directly addresses the basic needs of the population and builds a healthy, safe community. In conclusion, I believe

both

Use synonyms

art and public

services

Use synonyms

are important. Even Though public

services

Use synonyms

should be prioritized, the

arts

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

need appropriate support.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the government should allocate the budget reasonably to support

both

Use synonyms

areas, as they

both

Use synonyms

contribute to the development of society.

elsenglish16992

Nov 11, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that each sentence contributes to developing that idea. This will enhance the clarity of your argument.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to illustrate each point. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates your ability to apply ideas in practical contexts.

coherence cohesion

The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and presents the writer's perspective effectively.

task achievement

The essay includes a balanced discussion of both perspectives and presents a well-reasoned conclusion.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical flow to the essay that makes it easy to follow the writer's argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?