Some people believe that government funding should be used to support the arts, while others think it is better spent on public services.
The debate on whether government funding should be allocated to
arts
or public services
is a longstanding issue. While
some argue that it'd be better to prioritize arts
than
public Change preposition
over
services
, others advocate for investing in public service rather than investing in arts
. From my perspective, I reckon that Correct article usage
the arts
both
of these aspects play an indispensable role in social development; however
, public services
should be prioritized due to
the comprehensive life
standard of inhabitants.
On the other hand
, funding the arts
is vital for cultural preservation and societal enrichment. Because,
art is a means to preserve and promote national cultural values. It is not only about Remove the comma
apply
aesthetic
but Fix the agreement mistake
aesthetics
also
a testament to the historical heritage of a nation, which can preserve historical events and artistic knowledge for future generations. Besides
, artistic activities relate
to music, Change the form of the verb
related
theater
, and exhibitions enrich spiritual Change the spelling
theatre
life
, providing comfort and fostering creativity. investing in the arts
not only helps maintain cultural identity but also
provides spiritual motivation for the community.
On the other hand
, public service directly affects the social welfare and quality of life
for the general population. Because,
it plays an essential role in improving society and enhancing the Remove the comma
apply
life
standard for citizens. One of the worth investing public
Change preposition
in public
services
is healthcare
system, which helps protect community health and reduce diseases. Add an article
the healthcare
In addition
, education and public safety play indispensable roles in helping build a safe, civilized, and well educated
society. Add a hyphen
well-educated
For example
, a developed country like Singapore always pays a
significant attention to their education system, which can ensure that Remove the article
apply
their
future workforce will devote their best to their nation. Investing in public Change the word
the
services
directly addresses the basic needs of the population and builds a healthy, safe community.
In conclusion, I believe both
art and public services
are important. Even Though public services
should be prioritized, the arts
also
need appropriate support. Furthermore
, the government should allocate the budget reasonably to support both
areas, as they both
contribute to the development of society.Submitted by elsenglish16992 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that each sentence contributes to developing that idea. This will enhance the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate each point. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates your ability to apply ideas in practical contexts.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and presents the writer's perspective effectively.
task achievement
The essay includes a balanced discussion of both perspectives and presents a well-reasoned conclusion.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow to the essay that makes it easy to follow the writer's argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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