The diagram below shows the manufactuting process for making suger from sugar cane. Summarise the information by slecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant

The diagram illustrates the production of
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, there are seven stages in total of the process, beginning with growing
sugar
canes and finishing with the cooled
sugar
.
At the first
stage
of the manufacture,
sugar
canes are cultivated for 12 to 18 months. When they have grown ripe, the
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
would either be harvested by the farmers or by harvester for a larger quantity. Following that, they are gathered at one place for the crushing
stage
. The juice produced by the crushing machine will
then
be poured over a limestone filter.
This
stage
helps to remove all the dirt from the juice. After that, it is heated at a certain temperature to form into
sugar
cane syrup. The syrup will be moved to the centrifuge
stage
to
separates
Wrong verb form
separate
show examples
sugar
crystals from syrup.
Finally
, the
sugar
is left for drying and cooling before being packed up.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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