Some people believe that children should be allowed to make their own choices on everyday matters, such as food, clothes, and entertainment. Others believe that if children are given too much freedom, they will become selfish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the debate over how much
freedom
children
should be given in everyday matters, such
as choosing food, clothes, or entertainment. While
some believe that it’s the freedom
of children
to fully decide their everyday tasks, others argue that if children
are granted excessive freedom
, they may become self-centered
. From my perspective, I believe that Change the spelling
self-centred
freedom
is essential for every child to have, but it needs to be limited to a certain extent to prevent undesirable consequences
.
On the other hand
, allowing children
to have excessive freedom
have various potential risks, so that childrens’
Change noun form
children’s
freedom
must be limited within boundaries
. In terms of perception, individuals who are at a young age don’t develop it comprehensively. That’s why, being given too much freedom
can foster them
a sense of entitlement and Correct pronoun usage
apply
self-centered
behaviour. Change the spelling
self-centred
Therefore
, boundaries
are essential to help children
understand social responsibilities. By learning boundaries
, children
will understand that their actions have consequences
, helps
them navigate social norms and expectations, Wrong verb form
helping
making
it easier for them to interact harmoniously within their community.
Correct word choice
and making
Children
's education must be a combination of freedom
and boundaries
. Freedom
allows children
to explore, learn, and develop their individuality, while
boundaries
provide a sense of security and structure. This
balance helps children
grow into well-rounded individuals. Children
should be allowed to make their own choices, such
as selecting their clothes or planning their activities, empowers
them to think independently. Meanwhile, guiding them to consider the Correct pronoun usage
which empowers
consequences
of their choices teaches responsibility.
In conclusion, freedom
plays an indispensable role in the development of children
,but being given too much freedom
can make them become selfish. As a result
, they should be given choice in their daily matters but within boundaries
in order to prevent the various potential consequences
.Submitted by elsenglish16992 on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Be more careful with your paragraph structure to ensure clarity. Each paragraph should have a clear single focus.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, setting the context and summarizing your position effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logical and flows well, making it easy for readers to follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.