The graph and the chart below show the number of students choosing different kinds of courses in a university in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and the chart below show the number of students choosing different kinds of courses in a university in 2012. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar chart illustrates the number of male and female
students
Use synonyms
choosing different types of subjects in a university in 2012. As a whole, it is apparent that
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
sciences
Use synonyms
field attracted the most
students
Use synonyms
of both genders,
while
Linking Words
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
field represented the opposite status.
Besides
Linking Words
, the figure
also
Linking Words
displays that men tended to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
in engineering,
sciences
Use synonyms
, and maths rather than women. Meanwhile, female
students
Use synonyms
dominated in social
sciences
Use synonyms
, health, and humanities. In terms of the total aspect,
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
sciences
Use synonyms
course
catched
Correct your spelling
caught
show examples
the majority fancy of both genders, about 7000
students
Use synonyms
. Followed by fields
such
Linking Words
as engineering, health, humanities, science, and maths, which ranged from 1200 to 2200
students
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
course had the fewest
students
Use synonyms
,
about
Change preposition
with about
show examples
200 enrollments. In detail, 4000 female
students
Use synonyms
enrolled in social
sciences
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the figure
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
was 3000 in the same field.
This
Linking Words
trend
also
Linking Words
was displayed in health and humanities courses, where the number of female
students
Use synonyms
is always more dominant than men.,
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
nearly 2000 female
students
Use synonyms
versus 1000 male
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, male
students
Use synonyms
were predominant in engineering, science, and maths, approx 1200 to 2200
students
Use synonyms
, compared to 1000 female
students
Use synonyms
or less.
Finally
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
course attracted
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
equal number of men and women,
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
200
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by elsenglish16992 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, sciences with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "displays" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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