Some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed to the garden for local people to gow their own fruit and vegetables.Do you think it benefits move then disadvantages?

In few cities have started to change the public parks and open areas to gardens , letting
people
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
grow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
,
such
as
fruits
and
vegetables
. I think
this
idea will cause out great benefit than the disadvantages. For the first
point
, it can be more health. The local
people
can choose the positive way to grow their own
fruit
and
vegetables
, adding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy fertiliser, like eggshells and great soil. Reduce the worry about the
food
are adding some bad elements for grow which are selling outside. The second
point
, it can be more suitable for
people
.
People
can choose to grow what kind of
fruits
and
vegetables
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
can link to their habits and
favour
Fix the agreement mistake
favours
show examples
.
Such
as the sports
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
can grow some
vegetables
and
fruit
for making
joices
Correct your spelling
juices
juice
and
salas
Correct your spelling
sales
Salas
, growing
strewberries
Correct your spelling
strawberries
who love it.
Poeple
Correct your spelling
People
can have more
chose
Replace the word
choices
show examples
to choose
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
The third
point
,
poelpe
Correct your spelling
people
can earn money by selling their own
fruits
and
vegetables
. After the
fruits
and
vegetables
are
grew
Wrong verb form
grown
show examples
, the local
people
can sell them to each other and even the visitors.
Make
Correct your spelling
Take
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
example from
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
, some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
will sell their own
grow
Verb problem
apply
show examples
goods
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the centre of the city,
such
as near the market,
those
Correct word choice
and those
show examples
produces
Change the verb form
produce
show examples
will be
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
cheaper than the
produces
Correct subject-verb agreement
produce
show examples
sell
Wrong verb form
sold
show examples
at the shopping market. And the
sell
Change the verb form
selling
show examples
point
is ' organic own grow
vegetables
and
fruit
'. The
last
point
is local
people
can eat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
friut
Correct your spelling
fruit
fruits
and
vegetables
by getting
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
their gardens. They can get the
food
when they want to eat.
Because sometimes
Correct word choice
Sometimes
show examples
we put the
fruit
and
vegetables
at home for a long time after
bougth
Correct your spelling
buying
them, the reason is ready the
food
frist
Correct your spelling
first
for
futher
Correct your spelling
further
want to eat and can buy it.
To sum up
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
points, we can see that it brings out many advantages, are benefit
people
's daily
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. They can eat the fresh
fruit
and
vegrtable
Correct your spelling
vegetable
vegetables
which are growing by themselves.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy, especially with singular and plural nouns and verb forms.
sentence variety
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and interest.
coherence
Strengthen the coherence of your essay by ensuring logical connections between points.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for the arguments presented.
logical flow
The main points are well-structured and logical, addressing multiple benefits of community gardens.
examples
The essay demonstrates awareness of the need to support arguments with examples, such as the example from China.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: