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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that public libraries are not necessary, whereas others believe that they are essential for people. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#people #libraries
The public libraries are important for avid readers. Few
Individuals
 believe that it is not effective
while
 some argue that it is more
Important
Fix capitalization
important
show examples
 for them. In my opinion,general
librariers
Correct your spelling
libraries
 provide a peaceful environment for readers and students who wanted concentrate on their studies or
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those who are crazy book lovers.
This
 essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
viewpoint
Fix the agreement mistake
viewpoints
show examples
 in detail. On
ane
Correct word choice
the other
show examples
 hand, some argue that
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 which are accessible to all
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
ane
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
 not essential
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 in
this
 digital era soft copy of each book is available to them through
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
.
Due to
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 people prefer to read
books
 from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 rather than visiting public libraries.
For example
, people like to read
books
 from the comfort of their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 by having their tea or coffee in their personal backyard.
This
 not only saves individual time for transportation but
also
 makes them
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 to read. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, few
individuals
 prefer to visit public
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 them
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 quiet and peaceful atmosphere which is essential to
concentrate
Wrong verb form
concentrating
show examples
 on
Studies
Correct pronoun usage
their Studies
show examples
. Nowadays, libraries are well developed and they have
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
collection
Fix the agreement mistake
collections
show examples
 of every kind of
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
 from novels to historical
as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
 related to
entrepreneurships
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurship
. One can easily find the book through a centralized computer system which is
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
show examples
 and
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 way to find the
books
.
Therefore
,
individuals
 consider the public
library
 to be
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
 part of their life. In conclusion,
growing
Add an article
a growing
show examples
 number of
individuals
 consider public
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 to be important as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 them
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 environment they require and read.
This
 essay has well viewpoints in detail.
Submitted by aryannai0002 on

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task achievement
To improve Task Achievement, focus on developing each main idea more fully with specific examples and explanations. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, pay attention to smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Ensuring a logical flow in your arguments will make your essay easier to read and understand.
task achievement
The essay presents both views on the topic and provides a personal opinion, following the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing a framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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