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Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work.why do you think it is happening?do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantage.

#people #home #country #countries #work #trend
Form
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From
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 my point of view, there are various reasons to explain the
trend
 of working
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
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.
To begin
 with,
people
 can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different countries
due to
technlogy
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technology
 advancement. To be precise,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 nowadays can not only gain information outside like industry, salary and market by connecting to the Internet,
bunet
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but
also
 improvement of
vehicals
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 make places all around the globe become more reachable.
For example
,
people
 may be attracted to some
chariteristics
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characteristics
 of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 very different
form
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from
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 their original one after searching online No matter
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the industry
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industry
Change noun form
industry's
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 prospeact, living style or starting a company. With
convinient
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convenient
 transportation, they can arrive
their
Change preposition
at their
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 dreamland with
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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buget
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budget
 and time. They can choose
airplain
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aeroplane
, shuttle bus or boasts to get there. If one choice is not suitable or over
buget
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budget
, they can still choose other ways. In my opinion, the merits of
this
trend
 certainly outweigh its
disavantages
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disadvantages
. It helps
poeple
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people
 nowadays to pursue their dreams easily.
For example
, a
fsmous
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famous
 K-pop girl
form
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from
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 Taiwan left her comfort zone and came to South
Karean
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Korean
 to practise dancing and singing.
Lastly
, she becomes famous and
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
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 her
simle
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simple
 in
frount
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front
 of a camera. If
this
trend
 is not
deveolped
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developed
,
people
 may just work locally and
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 a repetitive life when their talent cannot be fully shown.
Also
,
this
trend
 helps the world to gather
prfessional
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professional
 experts together.
For instance
, America is renowned for making animation.
Therefore
, artists may
traval
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travel
 to there to start their
career
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careers
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 and
bringing
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 out masterpieces of cartoons like Superman. If experts cannot reach
a certain places
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certain places
a certain place
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, a prospective industry may lose
an
Remove the article
apply
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expertise and
becoming
Change the verb form
become
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 less productive.
This
also
 poses negative impacts on economic growth and living
qiality
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quality
. It is because the quality and
variaty
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variety
 of commodity decrease. Its drawback is the increase of
discrimanation
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discrimination
. Imagining Ansian
people
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
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oversea
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overseas
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 in England, their skin
of
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apply
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colour and their outlook are very different
with
Change preposition
from
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 others. Every country may include someone who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 less tolerant to comprehend, accept and respect others with
differen backgoud
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different backgrounds
,
espectialy
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especially
 for
childen
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children
 because they are not mature enough to handle social skills.
As a result
, bullying
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more prevalent among
a minority races
Correct the article-noun agreement
minority races
a minority race
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 of
people
 outside their home country.
However
, every bad
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
worths
Add a missing verb
is worths
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 it if
people
 are
determant
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determined
determinant
 to
persue
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pursue
 their dreams. They will overcome all the difficulties and make their lives very different and fruitful.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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language
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and coherence by using more precise language and refining sentence structures.
organization
Try to develop paragraphs more fully by expanding ideas and providing additional examples or explanations to strengthen arguments.
content
The essay offers a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the reasons for emigration and the advantages and disadvantages of the trend.
examples
Good use of specific and relevant examples, such as the K-pop artist and animation industry, to illustrate points.
structure
Effective introduction and conclusion that provide a strong framework for the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migrant
  • Brain drain
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Remittances
  • Expatriate
  • Diaspora
  • Transnational
  • Host country
  • Country of origin
  • Push and pull factors
  • Standard of living
  • Political asylum
  • Cross-cultural
  • Migrant workforce
  • Integration policy
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