At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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population of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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Add a missing verb
has increase
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increase
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increased
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from
younger
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the younger
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generation in recent years.some
people
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believes
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believe
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that
this
Linking Words
issue the number of young
adults
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employed in
society
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causes an improved nation compared to the old employed
people
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in the countries,
while
Linking Words
some other ideas are the experience of old
people
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should be used for improving the community. To commence with the first idea,
the
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apply
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young
adults
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are
growth
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a growth
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factor of
increased
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the increased
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educational level of
society
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employed in different areas in a country can cause both increased qualification for goods
as well as
Linking Words
services and decreased qualification in
society
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is better to use the experience of old
people
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, increasing the number of young
adults
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in a nation can cause a surge in happiness and productivity in a community. On the flip side,
minority
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a minority
the minority
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of
people
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believe that employing elders in the administration
affair
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affairs
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of the country can be very useful, but can cause a decrease in production .
Therefore
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, they think that young
adults
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dont
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don't
have manners and responsibility as much as old
people
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and they need to be in
production
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a production
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positin
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position
not in
management
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the management
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section, it can increase the efficiency of the aforementioned items. Because the experience of older
people
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helps young
adults
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a lot.
To conclude
Linking Words
, employing young
adults
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can increase the efficiency in the administration and product affairs of the community because
generation z
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Generation Z
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solving issues is fenaminal. So, casing surged the quality of goods and services in a
society
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.
Submitted by mobina.shahabbasian on

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your thesis with detailed arguments. Try to include more specific examples or data to corroborate your claims.
coherence cohesion
Make sure there is a clear connection between your ideas. Transitional words and phrases can help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Pay attention to sentence structures and clarity. Ensure each sentence contributes directly to the argument to avoid redundancy.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically considers both sides of the argument, presenting a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes and restates the argument, providing a clear final position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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