At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
population of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
Add a missing verb
has increase
increase
from Replace the word
increased
younger
generation in recent years.some Add an article
the younger
people
believes
that Change the verb form
believe
this
issue the number of young adults
employed in society
causes an improved nation compared to the old employed people
in the countries, while
some other ideas are the experience of old people
should be used for improving the community.
To commence with the first idea, the
young Correct article usage
apply
adults
are growth
factor of Correct article usage
a growth
increased
educational level of Add an article
the increased
society
employed in different areas in a country can cause both increased qualification for goods as well as
services and decreased qualification in society
. Thus
, it is better to use the experience of old people
. Furthermore
, increasing the number of young adults
in a nation can cause a surge in happiness and productivity in a community.
On the flip side, minority
of Add an article
a minority
the minority
people
believe that employing elders in the administration affair
of the country can be very useful, but can cause a decrease in production . Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
Therefore
, they think that young adults
dont
have manners and responsibility as much as old Correct your spelling
don't
people
and they need to be in production
Correct article usage
a production
positin
not in Correct your spelling
position
management
section, it can increase the efficiency of the aforementioned items. Because the experience of older Add an article
the management
people
helps young adults
a lot.
To conclude
, employing young adults
can increase the efficiency in the administration and product affairs of the community because generation z
solving issues is fenaminal. So, casing surged the quality of goods and services in a Correct your spelling
Generation Z
society
.Submitted by mobina.shahabbasian on
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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your thesis with detailed arguments. Try to include more specific examples or data to corroborate your claims.
coherence cohesion
Make sure there is a clear connection between your ideas. Transitional words and phrases can help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Pay attention to sentence structures and clarity. Ensure each sentence contributes directly to the argument to avoid redundancy.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically considers both sides of the argument, presenting a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes and restates the argument, providing a clear final position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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