The proportion of income adults and children spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998

The table compares the share of income that adults and children spent on four common categories of goods in the UK in 1998.
Overall
,
while
the adults,men and women spent most of their income on “food”,the children,boys and girls spent their earnings on “music”.
To begin
with,in adults, the highest figure was “food”25% when in “electronic
equipment”
and “music” was about 5%,in “videos” it was only 1% In men, the highest level
also
was “food” at 14%,a little less was “electronic equipment” at 10%,twice as little was “music”at 5%,and the lowest index was “videos” at just 2%. Women are
also
almost similar, “food” was the biggest figure 39%,and “electronic equipment” was only 1%.
While
“music” was 5%,the index in “videos” was 0,5%. In terms of children,the top figure was “music” at 39%,a little less was “electronic equipment” at 23%,”videos” were a little boon “food” at 12% and 10%. The highest level in boys was “music” at 38%,meanwhile, the “electronic equipment” and “videos” were the same at 18%,and the “food” was twice as little “food”. The
last
part of people was girls when the biggest proposition was “music” at 40%,the “video” was 17%,the “food” was 11%,and almost two times less was “electronic equipment “at 5%.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear logical flow in your writing. Although you have structured the essay into different segments, the transitions between them could be smoother to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that effectively sets the context and a conclusion that summarizes the key points. Currently, the essay lacks a comprehensive introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to provide detailed and specific examples to support the main points you are making. More elaboration is needed on the statistical data to enhance task response.
task achievement
You have identified the main categories and presented the data logically by comparing different groups.
task achievement
The essay covers various aspects and groups mentioned in the table, aiming to provide a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is segmented into paragraphs that compare spending across different groups, which aids in clarity.

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