IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Bristol University in 1928, 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Bristol University in 1928, 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table shows information about student
enrolments
Use synonyms
 at Bristol University in 1928, 1958, and 2008. It includes the number of new
students
Use synonyms
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of males and females, and where the
students
Use synonyms
 came from.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
students
Use synonyms
 increased significantly over time. There was
also
Linking Words
 a rise in international
students
Use synonyms
 and female
enrolments
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of local
students
Use synonyms
 decreased. In 1928, 218 new
students
Use synonyms
 enrolled at the university. Female
students
Use synonyms
 made up 42%,
while
Linking Words
 male
students
Use synonyms
 accounted for 58%. Half of the
students
Use synonyms
 lived within 30 miles of Bristol, and only 5% of the
students
Use synonyms
 were from overseas, coming from three countries. In 1958,
enrolments
Use synonyms
 increased to 1,046. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of female
students
Use synonyms
 dropped to 32%,
while
Linking Words
 male
students
Use synonyms
 rose to 68%. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of local
students
Use synonyms
 decreased to 14%, and international
students
Use synonyms
 slightly increased to 6%, representing 27 countries. In 2008,
enrolments
Use synonyms
 rose significantly to 6,377
students
Use synonyms
. Female
students
Use synonyms
 became the majority at 54%,
while
Linking Words
 male
students
Use synonyms
 dropped to 46%. Only 1–2% of
students
Use synonyms
 came from within 30 miles of Bristol,
while
Linking Words
 28% were international
students
Use synonyms
 from 98 countries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words enrolments, students, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: