IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #show #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons
The line graph and pie chart depict the
number
 of
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 (in tens of thousands)
according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
 and the proportion of four types of
crime
 in the UK
last
 year
Overall
, the highest
number
 of
crimes
committed
Add a missing verb
were committed
show examples
 by people aged 12 to 28, and violent
crime
 was the most frequent type of all.
According to
 the graph, no
crimes
committed
Add a missing verb
were committed
show examples
 at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early
age
 until 12 years old with around 5.
however
, the figure surged reaching 70
crimes
 for people aged 16.
Then
, the
number
 peaked at 80, which means those
in
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
 20 committed the most
crimes
last
 12 months. From
age
 28 afterwards, the
number
 of
crimes
 dropped gradually from 20 to approximately 5. The type of
crime
 with the most contribution to the pie was violent
crime
 with almost half, followed by property
crime
 at approximately a quarter. The remaining portions were drug
crime
, with a slight 1% difference with property
crime
, and public order
crime
 as the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 one with nearly one-tenth of the whole pie.
Submitted by 000silr111 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, last".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, crime, age, crimes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • The line graph depicts
  • The pie chart illustrates
  • reveals
  • displays
  • depicts
  • the trend of
  • the overall crime rate
  • steadily decreased
  • the distribution of
  • different types of crime
  • prevalent
  • accounts for
  • the most common crime
  • followed by
  • make up
  • a smaller proportion of
  • the total crimes
  • a smaller percentage
  • approximately
  • the remaining percentage
  • It is important to note that
  • reflects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: