IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many of today’s most urgent problems can only be solved through international cooperation.

#today’s #cooperation
Nowadays, there are too many crucial
problems
 which can only be solved through international
cooperation
.
That is
 why, it is extremely important
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each country to have
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 international links.
To begin
 with, many huge
problems
 can not be solved without any support from
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
. There are some examples of
such
problems
.
For instance
, war, industrial,
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 and environmental
problems
 might be solved only with international support.
Furthermore
, there could be
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 more new potential
problems
. Despite all the other
problems
, the environmental
problems
 are the most crucial ones.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
problem
 plays a great role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our
futher
Correct your spelling
further
future
 life.
That is
 why, each person in the world must understand the possible outcome of that
problem
.
Furthermore
, all the countries must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
cooperate and create new ways of
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
. It is extremely important to make some type of
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
 and limits for the huge
factroies
Correct your spelling
factories
. The second major thing is creating laws for the people, including the protection of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. Basically, we can solve
this
problem
 only with
cooperation
. It is essential to use eco-friendly things whenever you
need
Correct pronoun usage
need them
show examples
. And it is closely related to the
internatial
Correct your spelling
international
cooperation
 to produce
such
 stuff. Ultimately, we witness many of the world's important
problems
. They are so huge and cover
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 planet. In spite of the quite huge
problem
pollution
Change preposition
of pollution
show examples
, there
too
Add a missing verb
are too
show examples
 many similar
problems
 that could not be solved without any help. Every of these
problems
 can have much worse consequences
as
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 we even can imagine. So, for these several
reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
show examples
 international links and world
cooperation
 are extremely important for us.
Submitted by strogiy2008 on

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task achievement
Your essay introduces a clear main idea, but some paragraphs could benefit from further development to fully explore the topic.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically to create a clearer path through your argument. Consider how your paragraphs flow from one to the next.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points and enhance the persuasive effect of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You successfully introduced and concluded the essay, which provides a good framework for your argument.
task achievement
The topic of international cooperation is relevant and timely, which you addressed appropriately.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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