Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?
Recently, a few animal species have been on the edge of extinction, and several others have reached
a similar conditions
. Animal exploitation and the lack of effort to conserve them are the main causes of Correct the article-noun agreement
a similar condition
similar conditions
this
. This
essay will explain these problems further
as well as
the solution to overcome them.
To begin
with, the exploitation of certain animals actually has existed for a long time, and it is often hidden from the public by those who seek personal gain. They execute their plan strategically, inviting local authorities with a shared benefit. For instance
, a number of rhinoceros in Sumatra island is
being hunted for their horn. Not only Correct subject-verb agreement
are
they
sell the horn for a huge bountyAdd a missing verb
did they
,
they Add the word(s)
, but
also
skinned the animal for another great amount of money, yet no measures were taken to stop this
action. As a result
, the number of rhinos decreased remarkably
In response to this
, a strict policy should be established by the state , especially the local government. If the state is able to regulate clear punishment for this
act, it will be easier to enforce the law on them. The state also
needs to supervise the implementation to control all the stakeholders. For example
, by quadrupling the patrol near the rhino's habitat, and adding more posts to guard the area. Therefore
, governments should allocate more funding for this
issue and promote the notion of saving these species.
To sum up
, the growing number of rare animal hunts as well as
the minimum effort to foster them are an emergency. Unless there is a strong foundation of policies, and initiatives to protect them, rare species will be extinct in no time.Submitted by 000silr111 on
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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that each point made is directly linked back to the main question. While your essay addresses the causes and solutions well, explicitly state how each solution effectively tackles the respective problem.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try to use more varied linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make it easier to follow your arguments.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies and discusses the main causes of animal species extinction and suggests solutions, showing good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, making the structure easy to follow.
task achievement
Examples used, such as the rhinoceros in Sumatra, help to support the arguments effectively.
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