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Band 6.5

Tha table below gives information about the marriages in Australia between 1969 and 2000

Tha table below gives information about the marriages in Australia between 1969 and 2000
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The table illustrates statistics with regard to
marriages
Use synonyms
 in Australia in the years 1960 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 religious
marriages
Use synonyms
 experienced a significant drop over the period, civil
marriages
Use synonyms
 showed a quick growth. The average
age
Use synonyms
 which both men and women were
steady
Change the adjective
steadily
show examples
 increased. The
twi
Correct your spelling
two
 types of
marriages
Use synonyms
 exhibited differing patterns of change. In 1960, religious
marriages
Use synonyms
 stood at 12,000 which was higher than civil ones to a mere 8,000. Both
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
marriages
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, which grew to 46.000 and 11.000, respectively in 1970, continued to show
moderate
Add an article
a moderate
show examples
 increase after a decade. Meanwhile,
while
Linking Words
 the number of religious
marriages
Use synonyms
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 to 2,000, civil
marriages
Use synonyms
 went up to 28,000. In 2000, civil ones
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 sharply and religious
marriages
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 witnessed a growth to 36,000.
Similarly
Linking Words
, as for the
age
Use synonyms
 of
marriages
Use synonyms
, in 1960 the average
age
Use synonyms
 of brides and grooms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 21 and 23, respectively.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, both
age
Use synonyms
 groups went up by 2 years until 1980.
However
Linking Words
 after a 10-year period,
while
Linking Words
 female's average
age
Use synonyms
 grew to 28 and continued to double by 2 years until 2000, the marriage
age
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 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
also
Linking Words
 showed
a
Remove the article
apply
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growth to 29. In 2000, men's average
age
Use synonyms
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 consistently by a year, finishing at 31.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words marriages, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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