‘Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for people to use.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Free
Healthcare
has been a major topic of debate. It is highlighted that governments should subsidize
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individual's
Change noun form
individual
show examples
healthcare
. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly agree with
this
approach and believe that governments should implement the laws in order to free
healthcare
for all age groups of
people
. First of all, free
healthcare
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only brings a profound sense of fulfilment for citizens but can
also
contribue
Correct your spelling
contribute
to
overall
well-being and convenience for both
people
and
societies
as a whole.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, if individuals have free
healthcare
accessibility, the rates of
illenesses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
such
as heart attack or high blood
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
will decrease significantly
due to
regulary
Correct your spelling
regular
checkups.
Additionally
,
this
approach can bring various benefits for
societies
such
as sustainability,
due to
the decline in
illnesses
Change the noun form
illness
show examples
rates.
For instance
, consider an old man, who can easily go to
doctor
Add an article
the doctor
show examples
regardless of thinking about the payment. So, he can live longer and healthier.
On the other hand
, in many countries, particularly developing countries, it is not
avoidable
Correct word choice
possible
show examples
for some
people
to meet their needs. By placing more emphasis on
priviligent
Correct your spelling
privileged
individuals, if governments dedicate
exessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
show examples
funds to
healthcare
sectors it will
gradualy
Correct your spelling
gradually
result in healthier
societies
. A prime illustration is the Ginevoa
conutry
Correct your spelling
country
, where many citizens
due to
a bit of earning money could not live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sustainable
ocassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
. So,
healthcare
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
can successfully help them to gain a better life. In conclusion, I firmly advocate free
healthcare
opportunities, which can significantly yield dramatic benefits
such
as helping
people
to live longer and evolving
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
sustainable
societies
.
Submitted by mahanz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure that each point made is directly addressing the issue stated in the prompt. Make sure to discuss both sides, or substantiate your stance comprehensively to reach a balanced conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by utilizing clear linking words and phrases that connect ideas smoothly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all points are logically ordered and easy to follow.
general advice
Be consistent with grammatical structures and vocabulary usage. Pay attention to small grammatical errors and work on them to make your writing more fluid and less interruptive to the reader.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-defined stance on the issue that government should provide free healthcare.
coherence cohesion
There is a good attempt to discuss societal benefits and implications of government-funded healthcare.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Universal healthcare
  • Commodified
  • Public health standards
  • Economic burden
  • Mixed healthcare system
  • Preventive healthcare
  • Efficiency
  • Quality of care
  • Fundamental human right
  • Government-funded
  • Private sector involvement
  • Healthcare services
  • Education in healthcare
What to do next:
Look at other essays: