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Band 5.5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #lives
Part of society spends more time of their lives residing near their hometown,
this
 tenancy has
one
 main reason. The major reason is that some
people
 love living with their family and friends. They chose
this
 way because not only do they feel happy but
also
, they can do their jobs with other
people
.
For example
, I live in Tehran city in Iran near my birthplace which makes me happy and I always consistently perform well in my work.
This
 habit has
one
 major advantage and
one
 main disadvantage. The advantage is that the
people
 don’t need to learn a new language
such
 as English or Spanish,
also
, they don’t need to get to know a new environment.
For instance
, my brother travelled to Canada
last
 year, he was forced to learn France language for a new job. The disadvantage is that the
people
 who live in just
one
 city or several locations do not perfectly understand around the world things
such
 as multiple cultures, different countries and cities, amazing architecture and other things.
For instance
, I have been living in Tehran for the past ten years, Exactly, I do not have enough knowledge about other countries. In conclusion,
People
 live most of their lives in the places they were born.
Submitted by jingelbing on

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task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas and examples to make them more comprehensive and relevant to the question.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between the sections of your essay to enhance the cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that both your introduction and conclusion clearly summarize the main points discussed.
task achievement
The essay directly addresses the prompt and provides a reason along with advantages and disadvantages of living near one's birthplace.
task achievement
You included personal examples to clarify your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
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