Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
It is ubiquitous that lots of digital monitoring systems are installed for a safe society in public, but the majority of people do not know whether their information is being recorded.
Although
they could infringe on personal rights respectively, looking form
the universal perspective, it would be useful to keep our magnificent society physically secure.
Correct your spelling
from
On the other hand
, technology related to private life can invade individual data, such
as cell phone tracking and security cameras. Because those programmes are not only used for common intentions but also
for commercial purposes. Besides
, it is not even sure that personal records regulated by governments would not be open. For example
, there were some cases that
Change preposition
in
government
Correct pronoun usage
which government
employee
disclosed the third one’s information to earn money.
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
Nevertheless
, having a well-rounded security system by
using Change preposition
apply
high-technology
would be advantageous for Correct your spelling
high technology
greater
worthy cause. Because it could rather prevent more brutal crimes by using those means. Add an article
a greater
Also
, it can foster welfare programs for the elderly or citizens who are marginalized from community
. Add an article
the community
For instance
, cell phone and card usage tracking are commonly use
in investigating people who disappeared. Change the verb form
are commonly used
Also
as the average expectancy grows, the number of aged living alone is increasing. So it could be the approaches
to defend those in the blind spot.
In conclusion, there are possibilities whoever could be the victims of abused technology. Fix the agreement mistake
approach
However
, I support not using monitoring systems in public for the reasons only for
disregard for rights too conservative. One’s life can be protected once Change preposition
of
social
network is stable and the gross Add an article
the social
of
security degree could be higher Change preposition
apply
otherwise
we use those tools.Submitted by ellykim419 on
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task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages to directly answer the essay question more comprehensively.
task achievement
Ensure that each idea is fully supported with specific examples for a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen logical connections between paragraphs to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid ambiguity by ensuring that pronouns and references clearly connect to their subjects.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words to enhance the cohesion and flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.
task achievement
Relevant examples provided, such as the use of cell phone tracking in investigations, add depth to the discussion.
task achievement
Attempts to address both sides of the issue, showing an understanding of the complexity involved.
Your opinion
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