Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is ubiquitous that lots of digital monitoring systems are installed for a safe society in public, but the majority of people do not know whether their information is being recorded.

Although

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they could infringe on personal rights respectively, looking

form

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from

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the universal perspective, it would be useful to keep our magnificent society physically secure.

On the other hand

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, technology related to private life can invade individual data,

such

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as cell phone tracking and security cameras. Because those programmes are not only used for common intentions but

also

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for commercial purposes.

Besides

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, it is not even sure that personal records regulated by governments would not be open.

For example

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, there were some cases

that

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government

Correct pronoun usage

which government

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employee

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employees

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disclosed the third one’s information to earn money.

Nevertheless

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, having a well-rounded security system

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apply

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using

high-technology

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high technology

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would be advantageous for

greater

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a greater

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worthy cause. Because it could rather prevent more brutal crimes by using those means.

Also

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, it can foster welfare programs for the elderly or citizens who are marginalized from

community

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the community

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For instance

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, cell phone and card usage tracking

are commonly use

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are commonly used

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in investigating people who disappeared.

Also

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as the average expectancy grows, the number of aged living alone is increasing. So it could be the

approaches

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approach

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to defend those in the blind spot. In conclusion, there are possibilities whoever could be the victims of abused technology.

However

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, I support not using monitoring systems in public for the reasons only

for

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disregard for rights too conservative. One’s life can be protected once

social

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the social

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network is stable and the gross

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apply

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security degree could be higher

otherwise

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we use those tools.

ellykim419Tue Nov 12 2024

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task achievement

Clarify and elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages to directly answer the essay question more comprehensively.

task achievement

Ensure that each idea is fully supported with specific examples for a stronger argument.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen logical connections between paragraphs to improve coherence.

coherence cohesion

Avoid ambiguity by ensuring that pronouns and references clearly connect to their subjects.

coherence cohesion

Use transition words to enhance the cohesion and flow between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.

task achievement

Relevant examples provided, such as the use of cell phone tracking in investigations, add depth to the discussion.

task achievement

Attempts to address both sides of the issue, showing an understanding of the complexity involved.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Your opinion

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country , while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

: Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shipping. Is this a positive or a negative ?

University students always focus on one special subject but some people think university should encourage their students to study a range of subjects. To what extend do you agree or disagree?