In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? be

Nowadays it is illegal to
smoke
in public
places
in many countries.People believe that those who consume
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cigarettes should
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
leave the building.I agree with
this
policy.
And in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss how smoking in public
places
can harm people, even those who do not
smoke
.
Firstly
,enforcing a smoking ban in public
places
helps protect non-smokers from exposure to secondhand
smoke
.Passive smoking is more dangerous than active smoking
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the
smoke
that comes off the burning end of a cigarette contains a greater proportion of toxic compounds compared to the
smoke
inhaled by the smoker. Studies have shown that inhaling secondhand
smoke
can lead to numerous health problems,
such
as respiratory issues, heart disease, and even cancer.
For example
, smoking in public is illegal in 17%
countries
Change preposition
of countries
show examples
of modern society
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
reason.
Secondly
, allowing smoking indoors can be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
negative example for
children
.When
children
see adults smoking in public
places
, they may interpret
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
as acceptable or even appealing.
This
exposure can influence their perception, leading them to believe that smoking is a normal or "cool" activity to try.By keeping smoking out of public spaces, we reduce the chances of
children
seeing it as a regular
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, helping them understand that it is harmful and not something they should copy.
For instance
, in 33%
countries
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of countries
show examples
where smoking in public is not prohibited,teenagers and
children
under the age of 16 are known to
smoke
. In conclusion, banning smoking in public
places
and requiring smokers to go outside is a fair and necessary measure. It protects non-smokers from a lot of diseases, keeps public spaces cleaner, and sets a healthier example for younger generations too.
This
policy contributes to a safer and healthier society for everyone.
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task achievement
Try to add a brief overview sentence in your introduction to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Some transitions could be smoother for better flow.
task achievement
The essay concludes effectively, summarizing the key points and reaffirming your stance.
task achievement
Supporting examples are relevant and well connected to the main points, strengthening your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • cardiovascular disease
  • clean air
  • public health
  • hospital admissions
  • economic benefits
  • smoking cessation
  • cultural shift
  • healthcare costs
  • smoke-free laws
  • enforcement
  • designated smoking areas
  • compliance
  • social attitudes
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