Some people think that children are having too much free time and this time should be used to study more. To what extent do you agree with this statement

These days, a group of
people
believe that the time that children have for themselves is a lot, so it is important that young generations spend
this
time studying more. I subscribe to
this
idea owing to the fact that studying a majority of things helps youth to improve their knowledge about their surroundings and find the best job. On the one hand, if the young population study various items like nature, climate, countries, and so on, they know about a lot of subjects.
In other words
, knowing about a range of the elements aids
people
in interacting with other
people
better
due to
the fact that they can find the same subject as each other;
additionally
, these
people
like the environments and try to do several works to keep it from injured phenomenon like global warming;
moreover
, these children are the best
people
who can use different gadgets in various situations because they know about how they work.
On the other hand
, children who study a lot can find the best employee opportunities on account of the fact that studying aids them in finding the subjects that they like;
as a result
, they improve their not only knowledge but
also
skills in
this
way and increase their yield that helps companies to enhance fastly and earns more money.
To sum up
, in my opinion, the young generations who invest a great deal of their leisure time in studying are beneficial populations for their countries and the environment;
furthermore
, they have the majority chances of finding careers.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and make them more relatable. This will help to strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between your points, making sure each paragraph clearly connects to the next. Consider using more linking words and phrases for smoother transitions.
task response
Clarify your ideas and make them more comprehensive. There are some points in your essay that are not fully developed or clear. Focus on clearly expressing your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clearly structured, providing a solid framework for your essay.
task response
You have addressed the prompt effectively and presented your viewpoint on the issue, which aligns well with the requirement.
task response
The essay emphasizes important points about how education benefits youth, which is a strong angle to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • detrimental effects
  • mental well-being
  • life skills
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • empathy
  • physical development
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • unstructured play
  • cognitive development
  • academic performance
  • fatigue
  • motivation
  • quality over quantity
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • well-rounded personality
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