Some people think that children are having too much free time and this time should be used to study more. To what extent do you agree with this statement

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The given bar chart compares data about the portion of females who followed their higher education in 5 various countries at 2 points in time
1980
Change preposition
between 1980
show examples
and 2015.
Overall
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, it was important that the trends of all women who went into higher education other than Australian females increased over the period of 25 years.
According to
Linking Words
the diagram, Australia, the best country where the largest fraction of women wanted to have an academic education at both times, hit just under 60% in 1980 after that, it stabilized until 2015. The second country was the USA;
moreover
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, it reached nearly 40% in 1980;
then
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it climbed significantly to the same percentage as Australia in 2015. In the beginning, the UK touched roughly 35%;
thereafter
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, it rose moderately to approximately 55% in 2015. The graph demonstrates that at the start, France scored exactly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half after that, it jumped slightly to almost the same proportion as England in 2015. The
last
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country was South Korea;
furthermore
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, it reported about 15% in 1980;
then
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in 2015, it 2 times grew
instead
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of the prior time.

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coherence cohesion
For further improvement in coherence and cohesion, consider using varied linking words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, including a clear summary or concise conclusion would enhance the cohesiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples and data analysis are directly relevant to the topic and support your arguments effectively. Providing more precise and varied examples can also strengthen the task response.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by describing the trends and comparing data for women in higher education across five countries.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic, setting the stage well for subsequent analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • detrimental effects
  • mental well-being
  • life skills
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • empathy
  • physical development
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • unstructured play
  • cognitive development
  • academic performance
  • fatigue
  • motivation
  • quality over quantity
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • well-rounded personality
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