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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourists Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourists Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.
#enquiries #tourists #information #office #city #period
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The line graph illustrates data about the survey being taken by the Tourist Information Office in four different ways: in
person
Use synonyms
, by letter and email, and by telephone within a six-month
period
Use synonyms
 in the year 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is seen that the
numbers
Use synonyms
 for
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 enquiries exceeded the remaining categories,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being the dominant by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
numbers
Use synonyms
 for
letter
Fix the agreement mistake
letters
show examples
 and email had a downward trend over the
period
Use synonyms
 shown. Looking at the details, taking surveys in
person
Use synonyms
 began its trend at a minimum
420
Change preposition
of 420
show examples
 in the beginning before reaching a high peak of 1430 by the month
June
Change preposition
of June
show examples
 ( it was the highest ). The category telephone,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, increased noticeably to 1600 by the end of the given
period
Use synonyms
, after decreasing slightly from 850 to 800 and growing to 1000 in April.
Conversely
Linking Words
, despite showing high
numbers
Use synonyms
, survey
numbers
Use synonyms
 for telephone couldn’t soar that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 highlighted. Of the
last
Linking Words
 category, the enquirers being taken by letter and email stabilized at 750 for almost three months,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
falling to 390 for the remainder of the
period
Use synonyms
, and it stood static at
this
Linking Words
 point again.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words person, period, numbers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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