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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The line graph compares the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
work
Correct your spelling
the workforce
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force
Use synonyms
 in the United
states
Capitalize word
States
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 and
Japan
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 between
Use synonyms
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
 1993 and 1999. It is clearly seen that
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
work
Correct your spelling
workforce
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force
Use synonyms
 went up considerably in
Japan
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, there was a noticeable decline in the rates of
employed
Replace the word
employment
show examples
 in the USA. As can be seen, the unemployment
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
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 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 was roughly 2.5
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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 before
March
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 1993 and rose substantially by 0.5
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 when it arrived
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March
Change preposition
in March
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 1993.
Then
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend until
March
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 1994 followed by a fluctuation
just
Change preposition
of just
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 over 3.5
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percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 for almost a year. It experienced
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
partial growth until
March
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 1998 before it reached a peak
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 5% of
Use synonyms
work
Correct your spelling
the workforce
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force
Use synonyms
. In the
last
Linking Words
 year, it witnessed a marginal decline
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 arrived
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 exactly 5%. After that, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
 in the US was twice the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
work
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 at first.
Then
Linking Words
, it had a significant fall from 7% in
March
Use synonyms
 1993 to 5% in
March
Use synonyms
 1999. In summary, it is obvious that
although
Linking Words
 there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward trend in the unemployment rates in
Japan
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 and
Correct article usage
a down
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down ward
Correct your spelling
downward
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 trend in the US, they arrived
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 same
percentage
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, work, force, japan, march with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rates
  • graph
  • trend
  • changes
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • findings
  • observations
  • data
  • statistics
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