Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge & experience

Some people think that teaching
children
at
home
is the best for the development of a child
while
others
believe that
children
should go to
school
for their development. I personally believe that
while
teaching at
home
offers
children
to learn about their family
values
and
culture
, going to
school
is the best option because it helps
children
to learn about the outside
world
. Teaching at
home
helps
children
to learn about their family
values
and
culture
. At
home
,
children
are taught by their
parents
and
parents
teach
children
the
values
, norms and
culture
of their family. From their
parents
,
children
learn to behave, greet
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others
, and instil the
values
of their families in them.
As a result
, these learnings shape their characteristics in the future.
For example
,
children
in Japan, compulsorily learn their family
values
and norms till
their
Change the word
the
show examples
age of five at
home
.
However
, I personally believe that knowing about the outer
world
is
very
Rephrase
more
show examples
important than learning family
values
. If
children
go to
school
for learning
Change preposition
to learn
show examples
, they can learn about the outside
world
. At
school
, they learn with their
peers
in a classroom, and they learn about the
culture
and behaviours of
others
. They have the opportunity
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
comunicating
Correct your spelling
communicating
with their
peers
from different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
and languages.
As a consequence
, they know about the outside
world
, and it broadens their outlook.
For example
,
children
in Bangladesh start going to
school
at
their
Change the word
the
show examples
age of 3 which helps them to learn by interacting with their
peers
.
Therefore
, I personally believe that learning at
school
is more beneficial because
children
can learn from their
peers
. In conclusion, I personally believe that
while
learning from their
parents
allows
children
to learn about their family
values
and
culture
, going to
school
helps them to learn about the
culture
and behaviours of
others
which broadens their outlook.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
Ensure a more balanced discussion by elaborating further on the advantages of teaching at home.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clarity by ensuring all sentences are free of minor grammatical errors, such as 'comunicating' which should be 'communicating'.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, contributing to a coherent structure.
task response
Well-supported main points with relevant examples, enhancing the persuasiveness of the argument.
task response
Clear, comprehensive ideas that respond directly to the essay prompt.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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