IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Your local council is considering closing a sports and leisure center that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to local council. In the letter give details of how you and your friends use the center. explain why the sports and leisure center is important for the local community. describe the possible effects on local people if the center closes. write 150 words.

7.5 / 9
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to bring your attention to my concern regarding the closure of the sports and leisure
centre
Use synonyms
 in order to save money. The
centre
Use synonyms
 for my friends and me has acted as a place that has allowed us to participate in various outdoor activities, including socialising with others, playing football, tennis and volleyball.
Moreover
Linking Words
, one of the primary features of the
centre
Use synonyms
 is its traditional café, enabling my friends and me to gain a deeper understanding of our national identity through reading outdated magazines, exposing us to people's lifestyles in the past. I strongly believe that sports and leisure centres can play a crucial role in improving citizens' mental health, as they provide them with ideal conditions to engage in physical activities
while
Linking Words
 allowing them to communicate with people from different cultural backgrounds. These experiences help citizens unwind, recharge their batteries, and become fit. From my perspective, the closure of the
centre
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 can have a negative impact on local people's lives. Since
this
Linking Words
 issue can leave residents with limited opportunities and choices to spend quality time with their friends and take part in physical activities, which can reduce the living standards and encourage unhealthy behaviours,
such
Linking Words
 as overuse of screens. Thank you for your consideration and time. I hope the
centre
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 can continue to serve residents. Yours faithfully, Mohammadreza Hadavi Bavil

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task response
Give more clear, real details about how often you and your friends use the centre. For example, say which days you play sport there and how many people use it.
task response
Explain the effects of closure in a more direct way. Say where children, older people, and families will go if the centre is shut.
task response
The part about old magazines and national identity does not fit the main aim well. Use this space to talk more about sport, health, or local groups.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep one main point in each paragraph, but make the last long sentence shorter for easier reading.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links such as “Also”, “As a result”, and “For this reason” to show how your ideas join. Avoid very long sentences with many ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are polite and fit a letter to the council. Add a short subject line if you want to make the purpose clear at once.
task response
You answer all the main parts of the letter: how you use the centre, why it matters, and what may happen if it closes.
task response
Your tone is polite and serious, which is right for a letter to the local council.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are in a clear order, with separate paragraphs for use of the centre, its value, and the possible effects of closure.
coherence and cohesion
The opening clearly states why you are writing, and the ending gives a clear hope that the centre will stay open.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • council
  • center
  • sport
  • leisure
  • save
  • money
  • community
  • town
  • friends
  • use
  • play
  • swim
  • gym
  • club
  • team
  • healthy
  • safe
  • work
  • jobs
  • open
  • close
  • local
  • people
  • children
  • youth
  • travel
  • impact
  • support
  • please
  • thank
  • you
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